The way social media now affect politics and therefore history, it is plainly our duty as patriotic Indians to get out there and say, “We thought of tweets first. Randomly, you know, one Vedic day, just like we invented the zero”.
Says who, you ask, you cynic? (And ‘pseudo-secular Hindu-basher’ for good measure, while we’re having words). All right then, everybody in the domestic population of 1.2-plus billion and in the 25-million-plus Great Indian Diaspora who’s called ‘Manoj’, stand up and be counted. One of the popular meanings of ‘Manoj’ (‘mind-born’ in Sanskrit) is ‘as fast as thought’. If that’s not the world’s first tweet concept, call me anything (and may we call our Manoj friends ‘tweetie-pie’?).
Not that I can personally claim credit (or you, so there) or bask in the teeniest reflected civilisational glory. Because if we were so smart, why did we have to wait for the Industrial Revolution and then World War Two and then America for ITEC to happen? Why did we have to join the party only after it began, if WE thought of it first? Too busy being difficult with women and unspecified others or with unspecified other things?
Never mind all that — listen, we have to sweat blood while still being part of ‘the system’ and who says popularity is part of the job description — let’s do a quick once-over of the ‘so what’ factor: so what if we thought of tweets first? If we were/are so smart, why can’t we come up with a better idea for cleaning up ‘the system’ today beyond hollering ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai’ at populist rallies or spreading tales by SMS about lactating idols like in ‘95 (oops, they DRANK milk, didn’t they?).
Don’t you find it kind of embarrassing, all that mental wealth but no ideas beyond same-old gayya mayya? So here it is, a request with folded hands to the clever, purposeful people who are so good at thinking of things (I can’t, I don’t have a left side to my brain and besides, it’s restful being on auto-airhead): please think of a way to counter corruption through hack-proof technology.
We may not need kangaroo-courts and a squillion more ways to be corrupt then.
Oh God, the most horrible thought just hit me at slow speed: maybe we need to start by fixing the Northern Grid?
Renuka Narayanan writes on religion and culture