Depression haunted Kiwi pacer O'Brien during playing days | cricket | Hindustan Times
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Depression haunted Kiwi pacer O'Brien during playing days

The list of cricketers who have battled depression keeps getting longer with former New Zealand pacer Iain O'Brien becoming the latest to admit that he suffered from the ailment during his entire career.

cricket Updated: Jul 10, 2011 23:17 IST

The list of cricketers who have battled depression keeps getting longer with former New Zealand pacer Iain O'Brien becoming the latest to admit that he suffered from the ailment during his entire career.

The former pacer, who turned 35 on Sunday, said he forced himself into remaining normal even while he battled lows.

"How have I got through to now without doing anything about it? It's different for everyone. But I think I bullied myself into doing things and trying to live 'normally'," O'Brien said.

O'Brien said he first experienced depressive lows while representing his university team and continued to have the problem even while representing the national team.

"I'd just got back into the Test team after two-and-a-half years out of the mix, but for the first two weeks of our tour to South Africa, I didn't really leave my room. I was just too scared.

"I went and played cricket, went to training and did a bit of shopping. But most nights I'd eat by myself and order room service," he said, recalling the 2007 tour of South Africa.

"The rest of the time I'd either hang out in my room or sit by the pool. I didn't feel as though the guys I was on tour with were equals by any means. I didn't want to bother them so I looked after myself. That's still how I deal with it sometimes. If I'm having a few bad days, I'll try to get away from people.

"I probably should have piped up about it earlier on... But it's not easy an thing to talk about," he added.

O'Brien, who played 22 Tests and 10 ODIs taking 73 and 14 wickets respectively, joins the likes of England all-rounder Michael Yardy and former opener Marcus Trescothick in opening up about depression.