Don’t pressure your kids, learn to trust them | delhi | Hindustan Times
Today in New Delhi, India
Apr 23, 2017-Sunday
New Delhi
  • Humidity
  • Wind

Don’t pressure your kids, learn to trust them

delhi Updated: Feb 12, 2013 01:30 IST

With class 10 and 12 board exams fast approaching, Snehi is helping students cope with last-minute stress by suggesting tips on how to increase concentration and avoid negative thoughts.

Student: I was a good student till class 10. But since class 11, I’ve lost interest in studies and almost failed. Recently, I analysed myself, set goals and started working hard. But it only lasted a month and again I can’t concentrate. What should I do?

Snehi: Since there isn’t much time for exams to begin, it would be better to focus on those parts of the syllabus which you have already studied. Go through previous years’ papers 2-3 times, which will give you an idea about important questions and chapters that have been allotted high marks. Focus on them. If possible, try to take help from friends, seniors or teachers. To increase concentration, do some yoga everyday. You can still score well if you focus on studying rather than worrying.

Student: I am in class 12 and going through a tough time. My father is an alcoholic and there are daily fights in my house. He does not even allow me to go to my friend’s house to study. Due to this, my elder sister could not pass class 12. I want to study and get good marks.

Snehi: Since your father is at work from early morning till late evening, it gives you about 12-14 hours of study time. Make use of it judiciously. It may not be easy but try to make sure that your day remains pleasant and ignore these issues.

Student: I am a good student and have always secured 95 per cent and above. Despite this, my mother has been putting a lot of pressure on me. She has been imposing her ways and views on me since childhood. She believes that if I do not study for 15-16 hours daily, I will not pass my boards with good marks. She always keeps an eye on me. I just want to finish my exams and leave this house.

Snehi: It must be stressful for you to cope with such pressure. But you said your father supports you and is willing to send you to a college away from home post boards. However, getting into a good college in a city like Delhi is only possible when you secure good marks. You can do that only by focusing on your studies. Try to avoid any negative encounters with your mother. Do not give her a reason to complain. Share your feelings with a trusted friend or call us.

Parent: My daughter is in class 12. She does not study even for half an hour a day. She is always on the phone, even at night. I think she has a boyfriend. I asked her a few times but she denied it. Once, I called that number and a boy picked up. I’m worried that her preparation is not enough. Whenever I tell her to study, she starts screaming. I am really tensed.

Snehi: I can understand that as a mother, you want the best for your child. You should communicate better with your daughter. Tell her you are tensed because of her carelessness towards studies at this crucial time. May be it’s only you who thinks she is not prepared. She may feel differently. At this juncture when she is preparing for such an important examination, she needs all your support. Please remember that suspicion makes any person uncomfortable and may become a major source of stress for her.