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Change your life by changing how you feel

education Updated: Oct 25, 2011 17:33 IST
Chitra Jha

All our experiences are defined by our emotional attachment to what is going on in our life. The fact is that none of our experiences are good or bad by themselves.

These are subjective terms or attributes and each person’s definition of good or bad is influenced by the emotions they attach to it.

We all like good things in our lives because they carry positive emotions. What if we could find a positive emotion in every negative emotion that we feel? Wouldn’t that be simply amazing?

Every strong emotion that we feel calls us to take some action. When we experience a strong positive emotion, normally we are pretty clear about the action we need to take.

The problem comes when we are smacked with a strong negative emotion and do not know what to do.

Here are six simple steps to help you transform your negative emotions into positive experiences:

1 Notice: Whenever you feel a negative emotion, stop and notice it. Just accept your negative mood without trying to justify it. Acknowledge the negative emotion and know that something needs to change.

2 Look for the message: Ask yourself, “What is this negative emotion trying to tell me about my present situation? Do I need to change my perception, approach or action? Am I reacting out of misinterpretation, old filters, limiting beliefs, fears etc?” Look for an answer to these questions.

3 What do you really want? Ask yourself, “Right now I am feeling … (fill in your current emotion), but how do I really want to feel? To feel how I want to feel, what do
I really need to believe? In order to believe what I need to believe, what do I need to do?” Answer these questions honestly.

4 Remember the past: Think back to those times when you had felt the very same negative emotions that you are feeling right now. Remember how you got through this emotion at that time. Know that you have been through this before and got out of it. And if you could do it at one time, you can do it once again.

Derive strength and reassurance from your struggles and get through your current challenge.

5 Think out of the box: Take a few minutes and think of some creative ways in which you can change your emotion. Take the best idea and visualise it. Soon you will move past the negativity into a zone of creativity.

6 Transform: Now that you have crossed the barrier, take immediate action to transform your negativity into a positive feeling.

Remember, even though you experience your emotions, you are not your emotions. Your emotions may define your experience but they do not define you. So, stop claiming your emotions as self-definitions. For example, instead of saying, ‘I am so angry’, say, ‘I am feeling angry’… It is a small difference but it makes all the difference.
Change your life by changing how you feel…

The author is a life-skills coach, time-line therapist, and new consciousness writer.