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Dad's giving me a headache

Solve your emotional problems with the help of Dr. Jitender Nagpal...

education Updated: Jun 19, 2012 13:29 IST
Dr. Jitender Nagpal

I have just taken my XII Boards science and am planning to sit for my pre-medical test next year after dropping a year. My father is very keen that I give this exam but I am not very confident and would rather do history. My mother understands my problems and is very supportive but dad doesn't get it. There is a lot of tension and home because of this and my parents are fighting a lot. At times I just want to leave the house and run away. I don't want to sit at home now and study. Who can help me?
- Rohit

You can indeed help yourself. Your dislike for your home is quite understandable but I am sure you would like to opt for safer and logical options such as these:

Try communicating with your father and convey your distress patiently.

Share your interest in history, taking the help of your mother but then you could even think of a relative or a neighbour or a tutor who you think can be instrumental in convincing your father.

Running away from home will not help you at all as it may compound your problems rather than solving them.

Being a confident teenager means feeling positive about what one can do, and being less worried about what one cannot. Always remember, self-confidence is the oil that smoothly turns the wheels of the relationship between you and your parents

I am the most disorganised person in the world and have a lot of problems focusing and concentrating on my work. I have just finished my first year in college. Nothing gets into my head and at times I have to read and re-read the passages before I manage to understand it. Any suggestions of what can work for me?
- Shalini Thukral

Fluctuating perception about memory is normal. Do not press the panic button. I can suggest a few concentration tips for you

Study in a quiet place

Keep distracting, extra things away from your table.

First recite the topic you will study and finalise the time slot for which you would study.

When you are reading the text, simultaneously underline the lines which you are reading

After reading a few lines sit back and recollect what you have read

Try and relate or correlate your previous reading with your recent reading

You may think of writing down the content you have read in your own words too.

Expecting that it will be just sunny and rosy all the time is unrealistic. The secret is about celebrating differences, accepting ideas, opinions and diversity of emotions in yourself.

I have flunked my class XII papers and the thought of repeating a year is unbearable. My parents are still in a state of shock and our relationship has become strained. I desperately wish to work and study something else and not go to school again. Is there a way out for me?
- Anubhav

Yes, there is definitely a way out for you. You can clear your class XII through the National Open School if you don't wish to join regular school again. Taking up a vocational course, which will make you employable, can also be an option that you can consider.

Communicate your plans to your parents and reassure them of your commitment and hard work to pursue courses of your interest to enhance your professional qualification. They would then be in a position to share your optimism about your future. Stay in touch with few trustworthy friends, ideally with those going through the same experience. Establishing basic ground rules and setting the context of positive role modeling will smoothen the ride. Good Luck!