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Don’t be over the top

education Updated: Dec 28, 2011 10:56 IST
Samir Parikh
Samir Parikh
Hindustan Times
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A lot of times we may feel that we come across as excessively gregarious or over the top. If this happens too often, it can become a habit and bringing about changes in ourselves may become difficult. Here are some of the things that one can do to avoid this:

1 Understand situational contexts: The situation we are in is a strong determinant of what we do and how. It is important to keep in mind these situations and their contexts before one decides to respond in any manner whatsoever.

2 Always respect others: Having respect for others is extremely important and you need to do whatever you can to always ensure this. Keeping this in mind would help you modulate the way you communicate.

3 Be willing to listen: Every person has a point of view based on his/her understanding and experiences and these cannot be simply discarded because they may be different from yours.

4 Do not push your views: If you want others to subscribe to your opinion, then you need to use logic and practical understanding to help them buy your argument. Forcing your viewpoint on others would only make them more resistant to change.

5 Don’t get aggressive: Watch your tone. Make sure that you converse without getting aggressive so that people around you feel comfortable.

6 If you feel excited, pause: Excitement can be a cause for individuals to become restless in their interactions. If you feel that the excitement may get the better of you, then try and relax. Step back, calm yourself down and then respond.

7 Be mindful of the language: Your words show how you are feeling at that time. So be careful of the language you use. Control your tongue.

8 Be specific in what you say: Making generic statements about what should be done or should not be done or how things should be managed is of no help. This can offend those around you. So, be specific in your interactions and discuss specific things.

9 Be open to feedback: One may feel that when people give us an appraisal of something about what we said or did, they are being critical of us. However, this is not always the case. In fact, it should be seen as feedback. You could evaluate and determine if the feedback would be beneficial to you or not in the long run.

10 Be assertive: There is a significant difference between being assertive and aggressive. Be assertive and do not allow others to push you around but aggression in any form is not advisable.

The author is a psychiatrist, and chief, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Max Healthcare