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Envious of a rich buddy?

Learn to accept what you are and what you have report Samir Parikh

education Updated: Nov 24, 2010 09:13 IST
Samir Parikh

Every individual has his or her own worth. Be it in terms of characteristics, temperament or material possessions. Most of us have friends not based on what they possess, but because something in them clicked with us. These factors can include anything ranging from beliefs, aptitude, interests and professional choices to common grounds of knowledge and recreation.

So, each of us can have friends who are better off than us and also some who are not. But this disparity can bring about a sense of envy or jealousy, so to say, and create a rift between friends. It is this absolutely essential that one learns to overcome this.

You are who you are
Remember you are who you are as an individual. You have to learn to be comfortable and confident about who you are, what you believe in and what you want.

The most important ingredient for all of us to lead a happy and fulfilled life is to accept what defines us as individuals. This acceptance forms the backbone of all other aspects of our self and this is what enables us to rise above the need to be like someone else or feel that another is better than us.

Life is not a competition
Many of us constantly struggle to figure out the answer to the ever-elusive question, “Why can’t I have all that?” This questioning truly reflects the competitiveness that most of us experience with regard to others around us. Yes, to an extent this competitiveness, when healthy, does act as a motivator.

But after a certain point, it can take a fierce turn for the worse. Before reaching this stage, we need to remind ourselves that life is not all about competing. You and I are not born to compete with others in our lives forever. We are born to share and grow together and develop as individuals.

It’s not all about money
Money is not everything. Life has more to do with values, beliefs and what we ultimately make of ourselves. We all need to remember that it is our values and beliefs that help us transcend difficult times and not just money. Trying to be a good person can do more for one’s sense of self than just having a lot of money and not knowing what to do with it.

You can’t buy friendship
Never forget that you can make money but not friendships — and good ones at that.

Being envious really would not aid your attempts to maintain a good friendship. Continuous envy can certainly dent your equation with your buddy.

The author is a psychiatrist, and chief, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Max Healthcare