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Great expectations

Certain skills, techniques and attitudes can help you cope with the extremely high hopes that people hold for your life reports Samir Parikh

education Updated: Jul 14, 2010 10:25 IST

You may want something but those around you will expect you to do something else. Your parents have built these mega dreams around your future and this can at times put you under a lot of stress and pressure. The mind feels restless and the question that comes up is: what do I do? How do I deal with these additional pressures?

Remember, it's not a football match! You and your parents are both striving to achieve success, name and fame for you. So, being at loggerheads with each other is not the solution.

Set your goals
The first step is to set your own goals and targets. You need to decide and understand what it is that you want to do in life. Till you are not aware of your aspirations everyone around you would feel the need to tell you what to do.

Talk to your parents
Talk to your parents. Make them see what you foresee for yourself. Let them feel a part of your thought process. The more you involve them the more relaxed they will feel.

Involve parents
Involve parents in the decision-making process. Let your parents be an integral part of your decision-making process. You have the goals in mind and they have their experiences, which you can use to your advantage. So keep them involved and this will help abate their anxieties.

Try to work with them
Try to work with them instead of against them. This is true in any situation; if you can come up with a compromise in any particular area, the issue is less likely to resurface. Maybe your parents want you to get straight A's in all your classes. You know yourself, and perhaps your very best only gives you B's with an occasional A. If your parents know for sure that you're doing your best, and you're making every effort to keep your grades up, they're less likely to ground you for unsatisfactory work when your report card comes in.

Be responsible
Be responsible and tactful in the way you handle situations. Shouting, screaming, fighting are not solutions in the long run. The best solution is to talk things out and reach an amicable, mutually acceptable decision.

The author is a psychiatrist, and chief, Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences, Max Healthcare