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Nip envy in the bud

Keep this bitter feeling at bay so friendships do not sour

education Updated: Feb 28, 2012 10:41 IST
Samir Parikh

You might have felt it at some point of time in life or someone else might have looked at you with this feeling. Envy among friends is something that most individuals end up grappling with at some point or the other during their friendships. There are a number of causes why it crops up. We are not always aware of what triggers it. However, one should be able to handle it so that relationships do not turn sour and we carry on pleasantly with our buddies. Let's see how

1 No one gets all: Nobody can get exactly everything they want in life. It is common to come across people who have more than us or have things that we desire. We should remember this as a fact.

2 You, too, have something unique: Most importantly, each individual has something or the other that is special or unique to them. This would imply that the other person could feel that you have something that s/he craves for.

3 Life has its ups and downs: Life is cyclical. It never continues in a consistent and even manner. If things are a particular way today, they may very well change tomorrow. Change is a continuous process and a constant. So, never feel let down by the inadequacies that you might perceive today. You never know what tomorrow holds for you and the changes it may bring with it.

4 Speak no evil: When feeling the bitter emotion of envy, one often forgets and ignores what one is saying. Keep a check on your words as they can really hurt
others and wreck relationships. Remember that this too shall pass.

5 Be content: Strive for contentment and not just look towards the material possessions that you have or may not have. Contentment should come from how satisfied you are with the way things are going in your life and the goals that you achieve for yourself. Aim at an internal state of happiness.

6 Celebrate good moments: Enjoy the good times. Do not think about the bumps. Instead try and remain focussed on your goal and looking towards each success and good moment.

7 Never compare: Comparisons create discontent and make one feel dissatisfied with the way things are. Look at your achievements, your targets and goals, and how you are working towards those. Try not to compare yourself with others.

8 Accept reality: The key to being happy is to accept the reality of your life. Acceptance would make you feel content with what you have.

9 Always strive for self-improvement: Self-improvement would enhance your sense of satisfaction. Try and work towards bigger and better goals. Make efforts to improve yourself so that you are able to achieve more. Focus on yourself to move on the path of achievement.

10 Work hard to achieve goals: Always work in a goal-oriented manner. Keep setting new goals as you achieve the old ones and move in a sequential way. Accomplishing your goals would make you happy with what you are and banish envy.

The author is a psychiatrist, and chief, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Max Healthcare