AIB Knockout: The award for the best jokes goes to Karan Johar

  • Jyoti Sharma Bawa, Hindustan Times, New Delhi
  • Updated: Jan 29, 2015 15:16 IST

If you are easily offended, watching a Roast is not for you.

However, if like Arjun Kapoor and Ranveer Singh you are made of sterner stuff - and have thickened your skin further thanks to all those negative film reviews - tune out the office stuff and click on the link below.

These two leading lights of Bollywood were roasted by a panel constituting Karan Johar, Rajeev Masand, Raghu Ram and the entire AIB team last month while about 4,000 people watched.

For starters, what is a Roast? Consider it as the exact opposite of a toast. The guest of honour is skewered as a lot of fun is had by all present. There are no holy cows and everybody is a fair game. The quality of jokes? The filthier, the better as long as they are funny.

Everybody got skewered in this Roast - from the two Bollywood actors to panel members to Bollywood stars like Deepika Padukone, Sonakshi Sinha, Anurag Kashyap and Alia Bhatt sitting in the front row. Even the audience members got their share of volleys.

After a lot of editing, this "rude, filthy, offensive" video (their words, not ours) is now on Youtube for all to see.

Karan Johar - who was anointed the roast master and introduced as Prop, Bollywood Inc - set the tone when he introduced all those present. Rajeev Masand was called a 'sellout', Raghu Ram a 'loud, classless tumour', and Ranveer and Arjun 'just about famous'. He opened the event with the grand announcement, "Let the filth begin".

Here's a sample of the filth, umm jokes, from the knockout (at least the ones which are appropriate for a family audience). As we said earlier, Karan is the one with the best lines.

Ranveer after kissing Karan: I have been doing more to him for four years now and he still won't cast me in his film.

Karan: Ranveer completed three years in film industry. That is one year of acting and three years of getting over Anushka Sharma.

AIB member Aditi Mittal: Thank you Deepika Padukone for taking one for the team. You are keeping Ranveer Singh off the streets.

Karan: Arjun Kapoor you dropped those kilos faster than Deepika Padukone dropped her dating standards.

Karan: Arjun Kapoor is a Class 12 fail, which means he is not even educated enough to be a bus conductor. This is a pity because he would have sold far more tickets as a bus conductor. And Arjun played IIM student in 2 States but he is so illiterate that the only IIM student he could have played was Chetan Bhagat.

Karan: In 2 States Arjun plays a Punjabi guy who falls for a hot South Indian girl. So, he played Boney Kapoor.

AIB member Ashish Shakya: I want to thank everyone for coming out tonight and Karan for not.

Ashish: Lootera was based on O Henry's Last Leaf because Sonakshi ate the rest of the leaves. No just kidding, Sonakshi doesn't eat salads.

AIB member Tanmay Bhatt: Karan helps launch people who have no idea how to launch themselves like Varun Dhawan and Alia Bhatt.

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