The general elections are announced and I like the excitement in the air. It’s an amusing sight to watch politicians of all hues throw promises at us.
I, the voter, will once again be the centre of attention as jargons, banners, slogans and songs woo me so I can perhaps endorse another of their five-year holidays.
At this juncture, I’m confused whom to vote for, whether to go with the established order or usher in a change. But a clever idea is brewing in my mind. I plan to form a new political party.
Am I competent enough to do that? Of course, I am. I have an ideology, some rich friends and I’m on good terms with a few movie stars! My political party will be based solely on the ideology of love for one and all, irrespective of caste, creed and social status.
We will spread the message of love, deal with issues based on love and let love be the sole guiding factor in all governing decisions. If elected, this is my blueprint for governance — policies on education to be formulated on the maxim, love thy child, in matters of defence it is love thy neighbour, issues of rural development, love the poor.. on policies on agriculture, love thy farmer.. women’s rights and related issues, love thy women.. and all strategies on industry, finance and trade to be compiled on the basis of love thy trader.
My party’s motto is: ‘You name the sector, you point out the malady and love will cure it.’ My party symbol will be Cupid, God of love! I’m confident of success, look at the competition.
One political outfit propagates peace, the other professes economic prosperity, yet another wants technological revolutions and a few others talk of building bridges, dams and canals. But who talks of love? None.
Why waste time promising solutions when you need to work on changing people’s hearts? Since the last 60 years, we have ironically shaped our destinies either by using guns or shouting or just shutting our eyes. Has anyone offered us love? No one.
My party will do just that. No tall claims, no high end promises, no big rhetorics, just good old fashioned love! We’ve had our share of scholars, economists, lawyers, poets and buffoons as politicians. We are even kind to inherited politicians. So isn’t it time for romantic politicians, a breed of responsible elected public servants who love their subjects unconditionally.
All are welcome
Through this column I announce my love party membership drive, I choose to name my party the Pyaar ki jihad sena and hope it garners a good response. I’m looking for suitable candidates to fight this general election.
All are welcome to join my party, especially the one in love, the love sick, the lovelorn, the heartbroken, the spurned and jilted. I hope that covers every one!
I’ll be happy to win one seat this time. For I know in this era of coalition, my single seat will enable me to be a part of any government that forms at the centre. Why, I could stake a claim to even become Prime Minister! So, please join in and help me fulfill this mission of love!