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HindustanTimes Wed,22 Oct 2014

Hate and love are the same, says Cyrus

being cyrus Being Cyrus, Hindustan Times  Mumbai, November 12, 2012
First Published: 13:42 IST(12/11/2012) | Last Updated: 15:52 IST(12/11/2012)

And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I'm not doing a headstand at the time.

I am a 24-year-old man and I am in love with my colleague. The problem is that she hates me, and thinks I am weird. She politely avoids any conversation I try to start. However, I have decided buy her a gift on her birthday and tell her how I feel. But my friends have discouraged me from doing so, warning me that not only am I going to be heartbroken, I could also become a laughing stock at work. What should I do? I would be very grateful if you could share your perspective on this issue.
— BD

BD, BD, BD. (firstly change this name please, you sound like a poor man’s cigarette). According to Timur the Lame’s personal psychiatrist, Abu-Shikoor, “Hate and love are actually one and the same thing.” In fact, when Timur had Abu-Shikoor executed, he mentioned that he did so because he loved Abu-Shikoor. Having said that, I don’t like your technique. I can’t see her switching her stand just because you confess it in a letter rife with poor spellings. I say hold on, first try acting normal around her; you need to start all over again. Also, cut out the weirdness; it’s not working.

I am 20 and in relationship with an 18-year-old girl. She had a boyfriend in the past, who is unfortunately my friend. Now, he recently confessed that he has used my girlfriend in all possible ways when he was dating her. I just want to know the truth; at the same time, I can’t hurt my girlfriend. How do I approach her?
—Halkat Panipat

Dear Panipat, do you think this is 1526? (Which was when the first battle of Panipat took place). Everybody has a past and everyone has a future except perhaps Mitt Romney and Nitin Gadkari. You’re behaving like a chauvinist. I could say pig, but there is no scientific proof that pigs are chauvinists as yet. And what’s wrong with your friend? Does he think he’s doing you a favour? Chuck the attitude along with the friend. And stick with the girlfriend. I can assure her character is already holier than yours. By the way, geographically, Panipat is no longer where it used to be.
 
I am 21 and I go for math classes every day. My tutor is an amazingly cute lady, who is married and has a kid. I think she has a crush on me. I like her too. She asks me to wait after classes for extra tuitions, but lately, I have seen her take personal interest in getting to know me. Do you think I can go ahead and start a platonic relationship with her?

— Confused Bacchha

Baccha, let me understand? You’re taking tuitions and now you want extra tuitions? Forget the romance, you’d better watch your wallet. Her math seems  far better than yours. Having a crush both ways is known to happen, but do you really think it will stay platonic? She’s married. It’s her moral dilemma; ask her to write in to me. But if you want to improve your math, next time, please get a male tutor.

I am 17 and I like a girl in my class and I am very good friends with her. People say that she has a boyfriend. What should I do?
— Confused Sammy

Sammy, this love by democracy has to stop. People tell you this, people tell you that. Look, you like her; you have a decent thing going, then just talk to her. You know, sometimes the person in question knows more about herself than these so called ‘people’. The only people you should allow into you romance is the shade provided by the peepul tree.

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