Celebrities say a lot of things and many of them strike me as somewhat… suspect. Here are some of my pet peeves writes Farah Khan.
“I loved being pregnant — I can stay pregnant forever”
I could personally strangle the celeb who says this (Angelina Jolie, please watch out). I mean I loved having my babies, but the process — not so much. How can anyone love being bloated to four times their size? Throwing up all day (why the hell is it called morning sickness?). Feet swelling up to look like balloons. Not being able to sleep flat, or on your side for nine months! And you want to be like this forever? I think not. Really, the universe should grant you your wish and then we’ll see.
“I’m such a spiritual person”
This quote is normally seen under a picture of the celeb clicked at a glamorous party or better still, on a personal yacht, holding a purse that costs more than a small car, wearing shoes that Jimmy (Choo, of course!) has personally designed and a dress that could be too small for my four-year-old daughters. I guess saying ‘Jesus H Christ!’ several times a day counts as remembering God.
“I’m such a foodie”
If you wear size-two dresses and your legs are thinner than my arms, then sorry, you’ve stopped eating that thing called ‘food’. Wheatgrass juice and steamed quinoa are not classified as ‘food’. Well, not yet. But we must have read that men like women who eat (not true in my case) and so, pretend we must. Being a foodie and being food phobic are two different things.
“I’m a sensitive person”
To begin with, a truly sensitive person will never say something like this. But then, the price of gold going steadily up could also move you deeply.
DISCLAIMER: This column is to be taken with a big tongue in your cheek and dollops of humour. It’s with malice towards none and truth towards all.