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Ex files

entertainment Updated: Apr 25, 2010 13:54 IST
Jayeeta Mazumder
Jayeeta Mazumder
Hindustan Times
Highlight Story

So you were at this happening party with your newest arm candy, downing shots and cuddling. The unexpected happens. Your ex turns up, comes up to you and says, “Hello, how’s it going?” You don’t know what to say…Tongue-tied? It’s common.

How many times have you seen pictures of our tinselville ex-couples, trying to look away from each other, flashed across newspapers? We spot umpteen zoom-ins on Amitabh Bachchan and Rekha at award functions.

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan hurriedly walking out with husband Abhishek Bachchan, the moment she hears of Vivek Oberoi’s presence. Kangana Ranaut apparently isn’t friends with Adhyayan Suman anymore. Shahid Kapoor and Kareena Kapoor reportedly, are not promoting their film together.... All of this is hearsay, of course.

But how do you overcome that awkward feeling in these situations? Clinical psychologist Trupti Jayin says, “Tell yourself that you might spot them at an event and create a sense of preparedness. What is it that you feel when you suddenly come across each other — anger, discomfort, disgust? Know that it’s over and you have to move on.”

“Try to come to terms with your relationship status. Accepting the fact helps. Self-reflection also resolves the problem,” Gayatri Subramanian, clinical psychologist echoes.But is the solution in looking away and walking out? “Self-control is important. Take a deep breath. If you feel like saying ‘hi’, it’s fine.

If you want to avoid a scene, just pretend to be busy socialising, or make a phone call,” Jayin advises. Both agree that confiding in a close friend, spouse or partner helps too. “The spouse is actually your resource. Hold your partner’s hand to override the uncomfortable feeling. Acknowledge later that you were glad to have him or her beside you. This also strengthens your bond,” Jayin explains.

Subramanian feels if coping with the situation is an issue, the best thing is to ignore it. A therapeutic intervention becomes necessary if you fail to get over the relationship and you feel like the trauma has lasted a lifetime. “So gather the strength to accept the situation and be nonchalant about the fact that you may come face to face with your ex,” Jayin suggests.

Celeb cases

Shahid-Kareena: Reportedly, the ex-couple won’t be promoting their film, Milenge Milenge, together. Although Shahid Kapoor has been accommodating, producer Boney Kapoor chose to assemble separate promotion schedules.

Aishwarya-Vivek: According to sources, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan looked visibly uneasy when Vivek Oberoi turned up at the Rann premiere. The organisers had to scamper about trying to make sure the two don’t bump into each other.

Amitabh-Rekha: Apparently, Rekha came and completely ignored Amitabh Bachchan at the premiere of Sarkar.

Karisma-Abhishek: Rumour has it that Abhishek Bachchan doesn’t want to work with Karisma Kapoor’s sister Kareena Kapoor.