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Faking it?

Read on for an exclusive conversation Rahul Bose had with an aggressive aunty post Khatron Ke Khiladi. We bet you would go head over heels laughing after knowing Aunty's overview about the show.

entertainment Updated: Oct 03, 2010 14:49 IST
Rahul Bose

While Khatron Ke Khiladi (KKK3) is finally off the air, it certainly isn’t out of the minds of some viewers. Most notably aggressive aunties (AAs) from Chandigarh who come to Kasauli to stay in their bungalows over the weekend. I met one such AA.

Arre, bete! You’re back? So soon?’



Hanji aunty. I was back three weeks ago.’



Hain?! How? You toh finished only yesterday?!’



‘Aunty’ Condescending laugh from me. I enjoyed it. ‘The show is not live. Everybody knows it. In fact in the interim I have even been to New York for a festival and returned!’



Hai! Unhone jhoot boliya si?’



Nahi, aunty. Aisa nahin hai. Unhone jhoot kahan bola? They never said it was ‘live’.’Rahul Bose



Arre, chaddo. I want my money back!’



‘Uhm, what money, Aunty?’



Chalo, forget that. Tell me, the stunts are all rigged, na?’



‘Far from it, aunty. It was all too genuine.’



Chal ja, jhoothe! You really think I believe you were walking on that wire, with those plates, hain?’



‘Well, I did…’



Chaddo, bete! I have known you since you were born! Tu toh full darpok hai! Always hiding behind your mother!’



‘All the stunts were real!’



Arre, haan, haan! I know how all you heroes do your stunts in movies. All with computers!’



‘Aunty, this was television. It was in real time. There was no way the producers could CG the stunts.’



‘CG-pheegee! All fake! All you boys do is stand in front of a green purdah and pretend! The only person who did the stunts like a man was Priyanka. But where’s the surprise? She’s a Chopra after all! Punjab di kudi haygi!’



‘Er, my mum was half Punjabi.’



AA leaned close to me and said conspiratorially. ‘Shh. Dekho bete, you must not speak about that. It brings shame to the whole of Punjab. Even your Maratha side, keep secret. Why do you want people to laugh at you unnecessarily (she pronounced it unn-nes-ASS-srly), hain ki nahi?’



‘But I’ve played rugby for 26 years! For India for 10 years!’



‘Don’t cry, bete! We know you played for the country because of your fame as an actor. They used you to get publicity for the game. Tell me, before you, who knew rugby even existed? Hain?’



‘So what do you want me to do, aunty?’



‘Nothing!! You are a lovely boy, lovely actor! KKK3 was your best performance! Vall dun!’



Read more Rahul Bose columns