Okay, I’m not talking about major crimes. But if you’re a regular party-goer, these certainly are offenses that must be stopped.
1. Please stop… Inviting people to your dinner parties/shows/movie trials/ religious functions via generic text messages. I will NOT attend any function for which I’m sent a message that says, “Hey, folks!” or “Hello friends!” or “Hiya all!” It is tacky, tacky and tacky, and shows a lack of respect for your guests. I will be taking the trouble to get ready, go to a parlour to have my hair done, travel for at least an hour to arrive at your party, so the least you can do is pick up the phone and personally invite me. Because you really can’t be busier than me! Now really!
2. Please stop… Being ‘fashionably late’. Arriving three hours later than the given time is neither fashionable nor late — it’s just rude. Unless you’re working unearthly hours and coming straight from your workplace, what’s the excuse for arriving at 1am for a 10pm dinner? And after that, looking at me strangely because I’m leaving at that time.
3. Please stop… Blaming the traffic for the excuse you gave in the paragraph above. If you live in Mumbai or any other metro, then traffic is not bad only today… that’s the way traffic is! It is terrible every single day from 8am to 10pm. So keep that in account and don’t leave your home at the time you were supposed to reach — unless you have a private helicopter.
4. Please stop… Serving dinner at 3am. You invited me for dinner, not breakfast! Normal people eat by 10pm at least. Okay, so 12am then. But forcing people to stay at the party by not feeding them is ridiculous. And God forbid, if I venture into the kitchen to serve myself, everyone will look at me as if I’m an outcast simply because I’m eating!
5. Please stop… Attending parties only to click pictures on your BlackBerry and upload them on your Facebook wall, just to show what a fabulous time you’re having. Try and actually have a fabulous time. Now it’s only about letting everyone know where you went and who you met and you have to click, click, click and put up pictures every half an hour. Unless you’re a real fan, please stop!
DISCLAIMER: This column is to be taken with a big tongue in your cheek and dollops of humour. It’s with malice towards none and truth towards all.