'I’m not terrified' | entertainment | Hindustan Times
Today in New Delhi, India
Jan 17, 2018-Wednesday
New Delhi
  • Humidity
  • Wind

'I’m not terrified'

I hate reading and what I hate even more are all those unflattering reviews where every part of my film and performance has been dissected, analysed and shred to pieces, says Akshay Kumar.

entertainment Updated: Jul 22, 2009 21:02 IST
Akshay Kumar

So many ideas of what to do for fun and also some detailed directions to the best holiday destinations in the world. I could write two books with all the info that you guys have mailed me. So, today I’ll just respnd to each and every mail.

Anvika, that’s a really cool list of fun things to do — I will try a few; Tanya, I will try to recount my Miss World experience in a future column Trust me it was out of this ‘Universe’; Kshitij, my first fan (as you’ve described yourself) I will definitely take you up on that offer of hot paranthas with white butter one of these days, we’ll have to figure that out real soon; Keertika, fab ideas and I wouldn’t mind trying some of them out and the day I try one, I’ll tell you all about my experience in the column; Soura

IIt's been a terrifying month. Beginning of the month… I've had no choice but to read each and every single review published on my film kambakkth ishq. I hate reading and what I hate even more are all those unflattering reviews where every part of my film and performance has been dissected, analysed and shred to pieces. I was happier counting the film's collections.

I guess it's because I was always super at Math but never in English - ha ha! Just when I was done with that ordeal, Hindustan Times has put me through another one. I'm being asked to write a column. Reading and writing??!! Well, hello.. Suddenly I feel out of character. Its almost like I'm playing a part for one of my films. Ask me to jump off a flying plane or take a crash dive from the top most floor of a highrise... that's totally cool, in fact, it's an absolute cakewalk for me. But read my reviews? And even worse write a column about what I FEEL?

Now that's what I call absolute torture. So why the heck am I writing this column? For years now, I've shied away from expression and from communication. I've always felt silence speaks better than words. And I've never reacted to anything written or said about me? So why am I reacting now? And why am I writing now? Good question.

Because it's about time. About time I faced my biggest fears. What I do on my reality show Fear Factor is scary enough. But it's scarier for me to pour my heart out, that too for everyone to read. So here now I'm putting my thoughts down on paper and you know what? I'm not terrified anymore.

I have so much to say and don't know where to begin. Firstly I want to thank all my critics for ripping me apart. I mean this genuinely from the bottom of my heart. Last two years, I have been busy counting the collections of my films and somehow had forgotten to notice what actually counts - Criticism. I credit my critics with whatever I've achieved so far. They called me a furniture store when I entered the industry and that spurred me on to stay for the next eighteen years -- to prove them wrong.

Life has come a full circle again. Eighteen years, so many blockbusters and I'm still smarting at my reviews and dying to prove them wrong again. I'm happy to be criticised, for when I am praised, I worry. When everything starts going well and everyone can't stop raving about you, your ego starts to swell and that's when all's not well. You forget that there's another force u have to reckon with. Its called feedback. Feedback comes in many forms, including criticism advice and hard numbers. But feedback also grounds you and helps you grow. When I'm often roundly walloped by reviewers... I'm glad. And that's when I get back into the ring to fight another round... yet again.

Now, I'm not terrified anymore. Because at the end of the day, I know what counts. It's not the critic who counts or the man who points out how the strong man stumbled. The credit belongs to the man who's actually in the arena, who fights the fight and never gives up. So bring it on. I'll keep fighting!

Write to me at kumar.akshay@hindustantimes.com