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No laughing matter

Cyrus Broacha does a funny take on HT City’s stories from the past week marking anniversary for his show The Week That Wasn’t.

entertainment Updated: Oct 09, 2010 03:06 IST

He’s been faking it for two years. Don’t get the wrong idea — we’re talking about funny-man Cyrus Broacha’s show, The Week That Wasn’t, completing two years on CNN–IBN. And, to mark the anniversary episode, which airs tonight at 8pm, we got Cyrus to do a ‘Week That Wasn’t’ take on HT City’s prominent stories from the past week. Here’s what he had to say:

29th Sep
Mariah has a fall
Pop star Mariah Carrey, who is pregnant with her first child, slipped on stage while performing in Singapore. After the fall, her gynecologist was extremely worried. He said, “After this incident, there’s a fair chance the baby will turn out exactly like Mariah!”

1st Oct ‘10
A Pretty deal (An appeal)
4,200 during the opening ceremony and another 4,800 during the closing — that’s the number of performers Delhi–based Vidya Tikari is supposed to do make–up for in 6 hours. This has caused the CWG organizers to rush into a state of panic, as they now need to provide for 2,000 plus lipsticks, 22 kgs of Vaseline, 3,500 powders, 500 pancakes, 1,500 mascaras, 1,000 more make up artists and 10,000 more kgs of various dubious make up.

Unfortunately, the CWG bank is broke! Flat broke, there is no way on God’s green Delhi that the money can be found. However, somehow the Games must go on. Yet athletes without make up are a scary thing. By God, sometimes athletes with make up can be a scary thing. In an effort to raise money the Chief Minister’s office has come up with an appeal. Rs.100 fine to be levied on the spot for:
1. Loitering
2. Holding hands
3. Spitting
4. Urinating
5. Kissing
6. Singing Bollywood songs
7. Abusing Mr. Kalmadi — in public places.

If you catch an offender and aid the government in this way, you will avail yourself two tickets for next year’s South Asian Federation Games (SAF) to be held in Bangladesh. The two tickets will allow you to enjoy the women’s 75 kgs snatch and jerk competition in the weight lifting discipline. Apparently snatch and jerk, as a pass time, is very popular in Bangladesh currently. So Delhites, let us do Delhi proud and raise money for this most noble of causes... err... make–up.

2nd Oct
Hrithik to be waxed
Hrithik Roshan to be waxed at Madame Tussauds in central London on Thursday. Unfortunately actors Anil Kapoor and Himesh Reshammiya could not be reached about the same.

2nd Oct
Finding Mr. Wright
Musician Anoushka Shankar got married to Mr. Joe Wright, a British Director. The sitarist is said to be smitten by Joe and quipped, “He is the ‘right’ man for me.” In an unrelated piece of news, she’s shown interest in learning to play a new instrument — an organ.

3rd Oct
Full circle?
After a 2 year on/off relationship, Shahid Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra were seen together. Of course, this was before the release of Anjaana Anjaani. No sighting of the couple either together or single can be verified after the film’s release.

4th Oct
Games fever full on
Emraan Hashmi is proud to be associated with Shera the mascot. He said Shera is the new face of our country and that he is proud of him! ‘Tiger’ Pataudi was apparently shattered by the news. Shera, on his part, is not pressing molestation charges on Hashmi for the peck he received.

4th Oct
Bunty evicted
Ex-convict, Bunty, was evicted from Bigg Boss. A deeply unhappy man, he said, “everyone called me ‘chor’. They wanted me to talk about my criminal career.” After his departure we were told that Ashmit Patel and Sameer Soni’s wig and Veena Malik’s career have all been reported missing.

6th Oct
Trouble for Big Boss
Reality show, Bigg Boss 4, has come under fire from Shiv Sena and MNS volunteers for allowing Pakistani artists in the show. But, it all went down amicably, as the 24 violent agitators were invited to take part in a Marathi version of Bigg Boss. (Basically the rules are similar: the 24 agitators would be locked up in another less glam house together, indefinitely or till Bigg Boss 4 (Hindi) has ended.