Our wishlist for the year ahead.
We want to see…
More controversies on Koffee with Karan
Nothing spices up our Sunday night viewing – and subsequent mornings reading the newspapers – than the latest controversy kicked up by the latest guests of KJo’s famous black couch.
Whether it’s watching two actresses tear up the competition (and ex-boyfriends), or others levelling potshots at rivals, we’re drinking it all in. We want more and have no patience with the guests who play coy. Let it all hang out, people.
The BCCI focusing more on cricket, and less on Modi and money
Ever since IPL 3 ended in April, the Board for Control of Cricket in India has done nothing but bicker, shoot off letters and counter-letters, make claims and counter-claims, all in a bid to prove to the world that sacking Lalit Modi (the creator and erstwhile boss of the IPL) was necessary, and that he is guilty.
We won’t dwell too long on the IPL v/s Modi saga (and the many millions it involves in terms of player fees, broadcasting rights and what have you) – but have just one thing to say. When is the BCCI going to concern itself with the actual game?
More item songs
We don’t really want to choose between Munni or Sheila (we like both), and definitely want more songs like those that had us dancing in the aisles this year. Item songs were just the icing on the cake when we went to watch films this year. They’re sassy, they’re catchy, they’re sexy, and just plain dhamaal. We just don’t want one using OUR names (or we might just have to change them).
Decent shows on television
No screaming women, no hysterical anchors, no crying men – please just give us serious, meaningful, funny, witty, engaging programmes that actually entertain us. We’ll even watch the first season of Masterchef Australia – we’re that desperate for good entertainment.
If there was a tagline for 2010, it’d be: the year of scams. Just listing those uncovered this year (Commonwealth, Adarsh, 2G) would take up the newsprint of a whole Brunch issue. We can’t say we were unaware that India is corrupt, but seeing it again and again in black and white, and on TV every night makes us VERY depressed.
We don’t want to see – ever
Dolly Bindra – anywhere
First, Dolly Bindra caused fits inside the Bigg Boss 4 House with her raucous antics. Next, after being voted out, and returning almost immediately as a wild card entry, she proceeded to have the first-ever ‘fit’ on the show, claiming to be ‘possessed’ by an evil spirit. What we’re wondering is what we’ll be fit for if we have to watch her any longer.
Whether it was real estate, petrol, onions, or LPG, there was no getting away from soaring prices this year. Very soon it’s going to get to the point where we’ll all be living in actual matchboxes and driving nano. Nanos, not to mention keeping our onions under lock and key and rationing them and other veggies in the way medieval households in Europe handed out spices.
Visits by US presidents didn’t help. Nor did visits from French premiers. Not the censure of judges. Or the complaints of citizens. NOTHING, it seems, can guarantee us smooth roads that are a joy to drive on. But perhaps we’re being mean. Maybe this is just our civic body’s way of preparing us for life on the moon.
We don’t know if the scientists that research Extra Sensory Perception (ESP) know this, but we think the folks at our local call centre have it.
Otherwise how would they know the exact time when we are, travelling abroad, in a meeting, watching our favourite TV programme or movie, reading a much-awaited book or pursuing some leisure activity dear to our heart, and know that (according to them) we are in a position to take their calls? We’re sick and tired of telling strangers on the other line that we’re happy with our mobile service provider, don’t want another credit card and certain don’t want countless SMSes offering us everything from cheap holidays to cheap N/A plots in rural villages.
We suggest the customer service teams and the telemarketers switch jobs – that way that ESP will come in handy once our phone starts acting funny on us.
Don’t clutch at this trend why would you, after all, want a bag that can hold, at best, some money and a set of keys? Then where are you going to put your mobile, shawl, torch, plastic bag, tiffin, spectacle case or contact lens solution, mobile charger, makeup kit, Tablets, tissues, a book, iPod, and your can of Mace? In a plastic bag in a locker in a cloakroom? Or in your car, where you’ll never be able to find it? When it comes to bags, bigger is best.
From HT Brunch, December 26
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