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Party oddballs

entertainment Updated: Sep 14, 2010 13:09 IST
Lokhandwala Lad

A fashion week sponsored by an alcoholic brand (what else!) took place last week. A friend called to ask if I was attending their party, but I wasn’t in the mood to go. Then I suddenly remembered that I had no other option but to go, as being a model, it is part of my job to latch at any such opportunity. So, for the sake of my profession, I went.

Now, after attending several parties of this nature, I can make a list of people who frequent these parties. They are the ones who add an element of fun because they are easy to point out and make fun of. Here goes.

1The middle-aged ‘item’ aunty: She might have been a beauty in her time but is no longer, and her husband is either too much in love with her to notice it or too afraid to tell her that. She wears the shortest dress a woman of her age can afford to wear but her fat thighs ruin the show. She is either too conscious of herself or brazenly outgoing and loud.

2 The old ‘item’ aunty: The middle-aged ‘item’ aunty becomes the old ‘item’ aunty after some time. Her dressing sense, which might have been tasteful earlier, goes for a complete toss, as she tries to be sweet 16 again. Her skin clearly looks worked upon, as various silicon shots leave their mark.

3 The odd couple: This uncle and aunty are attending such a party for the first time or are not used to being part of such a crowd. Sometimes their money gets them in, sometimes their contacts or sometimes they happen to be guests in the hotel where the event is taking place and barge in. They stick out like a sore thumb because all they do is blatantly stare at people. The odd couple (aunty in her sari, fat posterior and a glass of juice in her hand and uncle in a silk shirt, golden watch, dyed black hair and a glass of whiskey) will boast about attending such a party to their relatives for a long time and how it’s not in our culture to do all ‘these’ things. There is also the ‘idiotic odd couple’ who just can’t stop taking snaps with celebrities at such parties and easily invade their private space without a second thought.

4 The wannabe: All of them have the same dress code — tight jeans with an even tighter T-shirt or a shirt with the first three buttons open. The smarter ones bring company and latch on to them the whole evening whereas the new ones come alone and then spend the evening in a corner. To stand out, they try various things like making weird gyrating movements on the dance floor to smoking continuously. The worst is when a couple of them become friends, get drunk and dance together while trying to up each other in every step saying, ‘Oh, I’m a better dancer than you and a director is noticing me right now’.

PS: Lokhandwala Lad is on Facebook. Add him!