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HindustanTimes Wed,23 Jul 2014

Best of Rajinikanth jokes, before Kochadaiiyaan

Hindustan Times  New Delhi, April 09, 2014
First Published: 15:57 IST(9/4/2014) | Last Updated: 15:03 IST(13/4/2014)

It's that time of the year, when Rajinikanth jokes go viral on web. Even his family doesn't mind it. The actor's daughter Soundarya finds the jokes okay "because everybody feels that he can do the impossible, and I personally feel there is a lot of respect (for him). So, we take it positively", she said.

Sample these: Rajinikanth can eat dosa with chopsticks, Rajinikanth can cure cancer with his first aid box, Rajinikanth can sneeze with open eyes.

As the superstar's Kochadaiiyaan gets set to release on April 11, we pick 20 of his best jokes.

1. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

2. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

3. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

4. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.

5. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

6. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.

7. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.

8. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.

9. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

10. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

11. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2015.

12. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

13. Rajinikanth can make a dog say - Meow.

14. Rajinikanth can send SMS from a landline phone.

15. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.

16. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

17. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.

18. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

19. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

20. Only Rajinikanth knows the exact number of stars in the sky.

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