Sell your father’s car, advises Cyrus Broacha | entertainment | Hindustan Times
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Sell your father’s car, advises Cyrus Broacha

Just write to uncle cy cyrus@hindustantimes.com. And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

entertainment Updated: Sep 03, 2012 17:41 IST
Cyrus Broacha

I have been in a relationship with a girl from my class for the last two months. She says she loves me, but her love doesn’t seem to be true. Since she’s cute, a lot of other guys hit on her. And she flirts back, which makes me jealous. Yesterday, I asked her if she would marry me and she said that her parents would not allow that to happen as her religion is different from mine. She wants our relationship to be kept a secret. At the same time, she talks about it with some friends in a funny way. I am confused. What do I do?
— Abhishek Giri

Young Abhishek, you are so young that you don’t know the rules of romance yet. Well, I’ve got some bad news: neither do I. Let’s see what we got — she likes you, she’s a flirt, she wants to keep going, but in secret. Why don’t you play by her rules for a little while longer, because when two people really really love each other,things like religion, parents, social ostracism or countries at war won’t be able to come between them. Time will tell if she’s the woman or just a woman.

I am 19. There’s a girl in my locality who stares at me. I want to talk to her, but I don’t know how to go about it. Please help me.
— Arun Vishwakarma

This is actually quite a ridiculous question. Arun, right since my nine years in college, guys have been asking me the same thing — ‘I like this girl. How do I talk to her’. What should I say? a) Dress up like a giant pineapple so she notices you, b) sell your father’s car and buy her a diamond ring with the money, c) pay all the people in your locality to leave so there’s just the two of you left? If you find these difficult to implement, how about just being yourself? A casual short introduction should be enough to break the ice.

I am 20 and have been dating a girl since school. I have cheated on her quite a few times. She doesn’t have a clue about it and trusts me completely. Now I have started to feel guilty. I want to confess to her. But I’m scared that she may dump me. I don’t want to lose her. What should I do?
— Mr Cheat

Mr Cheat, you may lose all the way. The introduction to the encyclopedia of cheating by various Bollywood and Hollywood film stars states that once you take the cheating plunge, there’s no turning back. I’d say stop cheating and start the relationship with a new slate. But if you can’t handle the guilt, tell her now. To lessen the guilt, stringent punishments like going on MasterChef India, or watching Brokeback Mountain or listening to Hindi rap may also give you peace. But if you do tell her, also be prepared to lose her.

Last year, while on a flight, I met an air hostess. We hit it off instantly and exchanged numbers after landing in Mumbai. Soon, we were dating and got physical as well. All this happened within a month. I am madly in love with her. But now, I’ve started wondering how a girl can start dating a guy so soon. I don’t know if she’s just using me. I come from a wealthy family and give her the best that money can buy. How do I know if she really loves me?
— Karan

The question many male readers and I are asking right now is — which airline did you fly? It’s hard enough getting water from a flight attendant, leave alone her phone number. Karan, location in romance is not the be all and end all. You could have met her on a train, a bus, a library, a bar or in your synchronised swimming class. I say why be cynical? We all use one another in some way. So seat belt on and... er, enjoy the ride. Now, about the airline...