The call time was 9 am, and I got up at 8:40 am. The shoot was five minutes from my place and I have a habit of reaching the set half an hour late anyway. Not that my defiance made any difference. When I reached the set, the huge make-up room was full of people of different age groups. From two- year-old babies to, well, very old men with sticks and the beautiful women that lie in between. So where did I fit in? I had no idea. If you haven’t got the drift yet, I’m talking about the commercial, which I had written about last week, that I got selected for.
Nothing happened for a long time, neither for me and nor this other guy who was supposed to be in the frame with me. The old men formed a circle, one of them started talking about his exploits in movies and how he knew almost everyone in the industry. Suddenly, everyone around him started getting a headache. Luckily, the oldies were called to shoot first and were done within an hour.
At lunch, I gobbled up as much as I could. I hadn’t eaten anything since morning and you rarely get anything to eat on these sets if you are not the main attraction. I overheard that sushi and other such stuff was being ordered for the star of the commercial. So I just imagined that my rice and chicken was one big place of sushi and polished it off. The second batch went in after lunch and was done within an hour.
In the meantime, I got my make-up and hair done. Point to note here, my make-up barely takes five minutes, maximum seven, not more than that. There was this girl who was chatting up the other guy and giving him all sorts of glances. In desi slang she was giving him ‘full signal’. I still don’t understand what she didn’t see in me and it’s amazing and incredibly irritating to me, how much action everyone around me seems to be getting. It just never stops. I’m the one who’s always left behind. Seems like my body spray does exactly the opposite of what AXE does. It repels women from me.
Coming back, so finally my chance to shoot came and I was supposed to look directly into the eyes of an upcoming big and famous actress, say a few lines and make her laugh. Initially, it seemed like a monstrous task, but it turned out that she was quite cool to work with. So when she stared at me with her green-coloured contact lens-adorning eyes, all I did was repeat the same inane line over and over again, till it became funny.
I realised later that I should have made more of the situation and chatted her up a bit, like one of the idiot models who was desperately trying to impress her. A conversation starter wouldn’t have been difficult for me, after all she used to write a celebrity column for the same paper that I do.
PS : Lokhandwala Lad is on Facebook, add him!