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Stick-in-the-mud

I have had it with stick insects always whining about how they are so fat, or not 'thin enough'. Or how they look fat in 'that' outfit, or 'that' angle or next to 'that' person who is allegedly, skinnier than them.

entertainment Updated: Oct 05, 2010 14:03 IST
Lalita Iyer

I have had it with stick insects always whining about how they are so fat, or not 'thin enough'. Or how they look fat in 'that' outfit, or 'that' angle or next to 'that' person who is allegedly, skinnier than them.

For them, going on a vacation is about losing weight, as they have to look good in all those 'holiday clothes.' Coming back from a holiday is also about losing weight as they have to now work out intensely to knock off the 200 grams that they may have gained by eating a cookie too many, or not working out for four-and-a half days.

Now, I have a theory on body image. If you are never happy with your body, the problem is not your body, it's your mind. Also, if you are not belly-dancing for a living or posing for swimsuit calendars every other day, neither are you a certain actress passing off as size zero, (which no one disputes as no one actually knows what size zero is), there is really no need to be 'that skinny.' Or is it just me?

What I don't get about stick insects is, how come they are always meeting people thinner than them and feeling miserable? Why don't they ever meet normal people who make them realise how thin they are?

I was a stick insect (blame it on my genes) when it was not fashionable to be one. I spent most of my teen years going to bed dreaming of filling out in all the right places so that I could be a woman instead of a girl. But no such luck for a long time. (Unfortunately, I never had any stick insect friends then, else I wouldn't have been so miserable). And then one day, I had a decent bra-size and child-bearing hips and life was beautiful.

But what irritates me the most, other than hearing another person's workout schedule is someone standing next to something edible and saying things like, "I don't think I should be eating that, it's too many calories." Since I eat like a man, and by my homeopath's diagnosis, have too much testosterone for my own good, my concerns are hardly the same. I just like people who eat well - man, woman, child, and most certainly stick insects.

As for the men, frankly my dear, they don't give a damn. Dating stick insects would just mean more work for them (like sucking their belly in, or working out as a twosome) which they are happy not doing. Unless, of course they are dreaming of posing with you with a python wrapped around.

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