Under Honey's Hat
Save one universe
Heylo my manchurian chickens. Chairman Mao’s China raised a toast to 60 years of Communist rule and my silver-bearded Vijjay immediately winged off to Beijing. He’s promised to get me a Gucci bag from Shanghai. Why Shanghai? Well, he tells me that it is the new world’s fashion capital now. Chalo maan gaye Cheen-e-Azam!
Talking of Gucci bags Lara Dutta has been laughingly complaining that while Sushmita Sen got one, she didn’t. Yet, she’s the one who’s been promoting Do Knot Disturb while icy Sen does not wish to be disturbed. Aakhir kyun? My khabru tells me that madam is feeling under the weather and her condition is unlike to improve before the advent of the years-in-the-making Dulha Mil Gaya next month. That’s the reason she pulled out of the promised one-on-one interactions last week and hasn’t surfaced since. Hmmm, do I smell jalne ki boo. Dolly, Dolly, Dolly, Dolly, Dolly, as my hi Chi bhaiya would say!
Meanwhile, Lara is quite happy in the company of her two madcap co-stars, Govinda and Riteish Deshmukh, even without a Gucci. She jokes that if two Miss Universes collide, it would be the end of the world. Wah kya baat kahi. Taaliyan!
Time time ki baat
The jasoos from Juhu is back on the phone with more gup on Lara. Seems Sushmita’s starry ways have rubbed off on her too. She was supposed to be on a reality show and turned up on the sets as punctual as ever, only to learn that the shoot had been delayed because Sanjay Dutt, the other star guest, was running a temperature and would be late.
Bas aur kya? Shylock tells me that Lara baby threw a mega tamtrum and walked off, deaf to all the pleas. Fortunately, Zayed Khan stayed put. He was on his best behaviour and patience personified, keep Dutt sahab company when he finally showed up. Hmm, the difference between Lara and Zara… oops, Zayed… is that while the lady is busy, the laadla is bekaar. Tee hee!
Who’s this frantically buzzing me on my Kaliberry now? It’s Rapchik Rajni who wants me to join her on a stroll down memory lane. Ab isko kya hua? She’s trying to get me to recall some cell phone ad that featured Mughda Godse and the Bollywood ka badshah so many moons ago. Sorry, connection’s been broken, darrling. Rajni says that Mugda also thinks that Shah Rukh Khan wouldn’t remember her or the ad today. Click, that was me hanging up!
Here’s Madhu my Mottu Maid..But hey, Mots where’s my coffee. She says she has something more garam to offer. And before I can stop her, launches into a story of a superhero. She’s rambling about some actor whose wardrobe is filled with Batman T-shirts, Superman boxers and Phantom belts. His gaadi ki chaabi has a Phantom swinging on one end. His caller tune is about Spiderman. And in his free time he likes to watch Superhero movies or play similar games.
I thought she meant Shah Rukh Khan or even Hrithik Roshan. But trust Mots to think small. Turns out she was talking about some Rajneesh Duggal from 1920. Abracadabra, gilli gilli gilli phoo! Mottu is gone for now. But I know she will be back tomorrow with more chhota mota types. After all, such is life dearies.