Last weekend, my brother and sister-in-law took me out on a self-indulgent birthday shopping expedition. Our heady day of consumerist spending was set back by an hour by an unexpected delay at a denim-wear outlet. But, it wasn’t the discount that delayed us; it was one socially dysfunctional moron.
This man and his girlfriend hogged a trial room for 45 minutes! She would keep rejecting clothes, and he’d go find alternatives. “Pink waala le ao, jaanu,” she’d say, and our man would trot off to find the required pink shirt. Or, a ponderous Jaanu would conclude: “Isme jyada skin show hai,” and waltz off to find a more conservative option.
A line of 15 other shoppers struggled with the one free changing room. 30 glaring eyes and endless drop-dead stares had no effect whatsoever on abrasive Mr Jaanu. Thankfully, justice came at the payment counter, when dear Jaanu’s bill couldn’t be processed on account of a technical error.
But, Jaanu only has a cameo in this crib. The real star of the show is the changing room itself. Everyone who has ever been shopping during the Sale Season knows that changing rooms literally become war zones.
Though most brands have a limit on the number of clothes you can take inside a changing room, the rule is rarely implemented. It’s a vicious cycle that starts with one unthinking girl who will walk into the changing room with six-seven options.
As the queue outside grows longer, others feel they may as well take as many clothes as they can, lest they not get a chance again. And so begins the changing room nightmare, and by the time you get your turn in the holy space, it stinks of overuse and sweat.
Believe it or not, many a war has broken out in changing room queues. So much so, that one CP showroom even seals off its trial rooms during sales and displays an ‘All Sales Without Trial’ board outside.
Not that it matters. I walked in on a Saturday afternoon and found people in front of the showroom’s mirrors, trying on clothes on top of whatever they were wearing. Guess nothing gets in the way of a good discount.