Honestly, women aren’t that hard to understand. Nor are our wants and needs. Here’s a look at our most pressing desires...
1. A passport that never shows your real age! Why should you always dread that people will see your passport and, (aside from the hideous photo) know that you were 30 years old some 15 years ago? Of what use is it then? Especially in the film industry where age is an obsession. I’ve heard of heroines who used to lose their passports deliberately and, with every new one, would also lose five years of age. This is a request to the government of India: let people be whatever age they want to be… especially on their passports!
2. The ‘fat’ pill. Okay, I’m not asking someone to invent a pill that makes you fat. Instead, it will be the kind of pill that when taken, will miraculously block all the fat from being absorbed in your body. This way, you can eat what you want, then have the pill and hey, you’ll still be the same weight. (This may not work if you’re already fat!) It will also mean that some people will only have this pill without actually eating any food.
3. Permanent hair dye, because every two weeks, you’re at the parlour ’touching up’ the roots. Why can’t a colour be injected that stays on for at least six months? The amount of time and money spent on covering up the greys could easily fund a small budget film.
4. A gadget in your phone that stops you from sending out bitchy text messages to the wrong person or even worse, to the person you were bitching about.
5. A memory eraser, just in case the gadget I described above can’t be invented.
6. An earphone that instantly supplies smart retorts when the occasion demands and not one week later when you think, “Shit! I should’ve said this.”
7. Pictures that photo-shop themselves.
8. A remote control that puts certain people on mute and fast-forwards certain embarrassing moments.
9. Bras that fit and panties that don’t have lines that are visible.
10. As for me, I want a column that writes itself every week!
(She’s a director, choreographer, wife, mother ... and now a columnist for HT City. Read Farah Khan’s take on Bollywood every Monday on this page)