We all have mental check-lists about everything we are supposed to like and dislike and we display them to everyone around. This check-list makes me wonder why we make our options so clear right from the start and why we are so hesitant to even experiment and try something new. Are we scared of getting hurt or scared that we might end up liking the newness so much that our whole life will be changed (for the good, in the long run)?
It’s funny how our mind works when it comes to manifesting this very ‘likeness’. We are quick to rule out stuff that can be good for us and equally quick to embrace the harmful stuff, too. To cut a long story short, our attraction for ‘extremes’ remains dominant. Are we programmed to think in only black or white?
Let’s look at the case of most guys — they revel in making generalisations about women. A girl, if she approaches a guy to chat him up, if she finds him interesting, is labelled as “bold”. Such girls are considered great to hang with, but not to settle down with. Even in the 21st century, men are looking for ‘nice’ girls, of the gharelu variety (meek, soft-spoken, not as successful as their male counterparts to avoid a clash of egos).
Does this mean that if a girl knows how to speak her mind, likes going out to party and is a fashion-follower, then she cannot be a home-maker? Why are we so quick to make judgements? How do we know if a female DJ is a good cook or not, who keeps a clean house, and is an MBA-holder!
I agree that lifestyle is an issue that needs to be considered but it should not be the ‘tipping point’ in terms of deciding who’s a good or bad person. The naughty v/s nice debate can go on forever but not if we choose to give ourselves a wake-up call. The middle-ground — a combination of naughty and nice — is way more exciting than the extremes. I want to know your thoughts on this, guys and gals. What works for you? Naughty? Nice? Or Naughty and Nice?