1 Different people attend shows for different reasons. The women go there to be seen and to check out possible wardrobe acquisitions, the journos are there to spot the women who need to be spotted in the audience and on ramp for their stories, the organisers are there to ensure sponsors get seats. The buyers are there to see what other buyers are buying, and of course most of the men, including photographers are there strictly to check out the legs, and pray for a wardrobe malfunction.
2 When a designer tells you he or she is selling well, it could mean anything. From the entire collection being ordered by Browns, to four pieces being bought by a small store overseas. Trainee journalists, please note!
3 Models there are not brain dead. They only look that way on ramp. You would too, if you had to do as many shows, entries and exits. This is specifically for carping columnists and PYTs.
4 Clothing a venue in black makes it a haven for mosquitoes, adds boredom if you are waiting, and sometimes you can’t separate the attendees from the backdrop. Next time, try white. Organisers, please write this down. Wearing off shoulder dresses or showing knobby knees if you are over 25, or above size zero is a hazard. Remember there is strict competition on the ramp! Women in the audience, please note!
5 Heels. Even by Choo are meant for sitting pretty. Flats are meant for walking or running from lounge to MSA. Journalists and PR people, Read!
6 A sponsored show implies more delay. This is because the sponsor needs to put up his message on stage; the designer thus sponsored has to seat his celebrity invitees before the show starts; and because the said celebrities want to ensure they get their due of attention from photographers. If you are the punctual type, remember this!
7 Being good at musical chairs comes handy. Grabbing a seat can sometimes be a real achievement, even if you have an allotted space. This one’s valid for all.
8 Showstoppers are passe. Unless you are keen to let people know you are new, desperate, or don’t really have a collection that makes the grade, don’t get a Bollywood or TV face to end the show. Needless to say, this is beamed at designers.
9 Most journos, who hardly know fashion, recognise the two-day wonder who comes simpering in to end a show. Just listen to the ‘who’s thats’ being whispered around and you’ll believe me. Designers, are you reading this?
10 Please organisers, don’t give out more passes than there are seats for media. Calling back or cancelling passes for a finale because your sponsor wants a longer ramp ensures bad press. Remember the dessert can take away the taste of a bad meal, so aim for a sweet ending, for all!