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Pak comic offers compelling reasons for India, Pakistan to not go to war

india Updated: Sep 29, 2016 20:51 IST
Shashank Kumar
Shashank Kumar
Hindustan Times
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Karachi-based stand-up comic Shehzad Ghias Shaikh in a Facebook post has listed a few excellent reasons for India and Pakistan to not go to war.(Facebook)

In the aftermath of the Uri terror attack, India-Pakistan relations have been fraught with tension. And Thursday’s surgical strikes by the Indian Army on terrorist camps in Pakistan-occupied Kashmir have only increased hostilities.

Amid the hullabaloo, a Karachi-based stand-up comic, Shehzad Ghias Shaikh, in a Facebook post listed a few compelling reasons for the two countries to not go to war.

“(India is) the only country in the world with Katrina Kaif,” he says. “Have they not seen her mango drink advertisements?”

He also offers some valid arguments on why India too should be mindful about escalating tensions on the Line of Control. “If we ask Fawad Khan and Ali Zafar to come back, Indian ladies will have to go back to swooning over the likes of Sunil Shetty and Ajay Devgan,” he says.

“India needs to treat Pakistan as equals. We are not far behind them in any field,” he points out. “(Prime Minister Narendra) Modi met (US President Barack) Obama and we had Osama (bin Laden), we are literally just a letter away from them. They sent a satellite to Mars and I just sent Fazlu kaka to the store to get me a Mars bar.”

Shaikh was mindful of how troubled ties could affect the household of Indian tennis star Sania Mirza, who is married to Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik.

“India and Pakistan should share a friendlier border so that it is easier for Sania Mirza to travel back and forth between her sasural and maika. Maybe that way, Shoaib Malik might also get a chance to play a little cricket while Sania is away visiting her parents,” he says.

Pakistan has reached out to India on numerous occasions, he claims. “We even let them win a World Cup semi-final, when Sachin Tendulkar was batting all Pakistani fielders were busy pretending they were Kamran Akmals.”

The stand-up comic says they are open to any idea that would bring the two countries closer together, and even suggests a few.

His ideas include a singing competition between Tahir Shah and Himesh Reshamiya, a spelling bee competition between Bilawal Bhutto and Rahul Gandhi, and a Master Chef-style competition between Modi, who used sell tea earlier in his life, and Pakistan President Mamnoon Hussain, “who is rumoured to have started his career selling dahi bhallas”.

Shaikh concludes his light-hearted appeal saying: “Let us try to be friends and if things work out, maybe some years down the line, our parents will meet each other and pave the way for our everlasting happiness”.