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A cosmic cocktail

india Updated: Jul 29, 2007 23:48 IST
Hindustan Times
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The term 'spaced out' has acquired a new meaning after revelations that Nasa astronauts were drunk on the job. A scary thought, isn’t it, that those at the wheel as you are hurtling through the galaxy are not quite in their senses? True, you are not likely to face an oncoming rush of traffic while driving under the influence out there. But imagine a situation in which a space shuttle takes off for Mars but ends up on Saturn because the captain was too sozzled to read the road signs correctly. Or mistaking an approaching meteorite for a new planet, tries to plant the American flag on it?

No room for error up there; take a wrong turn and you could be floating around the galaxies for all time to come. But wait, Nasa has more scandals in store for us. Earlier this year, an astronaut was arrested for attacking a rival in a love triangle. Clearly, someone had promised someone else the moon and could not deliver. So the star-crossed party decided to settle scores. It is bad enough that we have astronauts pickled to the gills lurching around up there but it is now discovered that someone with a bee in his bonnet has been busy sniping computer wires in Nasa. An alarming case of getting your wires crossed except that there are no comebacks here.

So the next time you hear of a UFO being sighted, chances are it is a Nasa-driven spaceship heading for a quick snifter at the cosmic speakeasy. And those voices from aliens out there, well, it could be Nasa folk shouting above the din for a bit of moonshine. The bad thing about going on a bender in space is that you can’t really have a lie-in the next morning. You will just have to float around till the stardust clears. So let’s raise a toast to that and thank heavens that we are not up there with the cocktail movers and shakers.