If you ever wanna break up with your guy (a genuine advice for all those girls out there who don't know how to find the right words), wait for a World Cup India-Pakistan match and just slip in "I'm leaving you" when Indian batsmen are thrashing Pakistani bowlers.
The exhilarating moment your man is experiencing that moment will ensure that you and relationship are a distant star, million light years away, he has no intention of paying attention to. He is in his own Universe.
And in case the World Cup is too far away, the next best thing would undoubtedly be to re-run on YouTube the quarter-final of 1996, those few minutes of Aamer Sohail getting his dose of Karma from Venkatesh Prasad.
Prasad took three wickets in that one ball - Aamer Sohail, Pakistan and Vito Corleone.
Everyone learned a lesson or two about Revenge!! Revenge has never been so sweet and dished out so quickly.
Pakistan were doing amazingly well, losing just one wicket by the time they reached 113, and Aamer Sohail was leading the charge as stand-in captain. He delivered, no doubt about that. But then, success is a vicious alcohol and charges you up in various ways.
In his case, he thought he had become invincible and committed the biggest crime of losing sportsmanship, temper and balance on field.
He scored a 4 off VP and gallantly marched towards the bowler, pointing his bat to the boundary and as various versions of stories go, said some unprintable stuff which more or less meant, "Go fetch that you this and that."
Just off the note, never to be confused as racial slur, Indians and Pakistanis can do anything to each other, but just can't abuse racially. We all are equally fair and pretty. Kill me now.
Anyhow, VP got booed in Bangalore stadium like he had never been booed! The boy took it to his heart and prayed to all the 33 million Indian gods, mustered all the talent he had in that one ball and gave it all he could, resulting in a sizzling fast bowl to the rude batsman.
Sohail, in his own universe, had already planned to hit it across the boundary and forgot that to make that equation work, he has to consider one important thing: the ball!
Not a great student of mathematics, I'd say. So he swung like the ball was obligated to follow his bat. But you know how it is. Balls have their own mind. By the way, still talking about cricket!!
The rocket that left VP, came swinging by so fast, that it passed the minor obstacle called Aamer Sohail and crashed into the stumps and in a millisecond announced, "Houston... we have no problem".
And the rest, my friends is history. VP jumped and did that famous "Get off you bad batsman" (Actual words may have been different ) gesture with his hands. The stadium erupted in a roar and the Knight was back on his horse.
Pakistan never recovered from this loss, and lost the match among other things such as a guy in Pakistan reportedly shooting his TV and himself after the match.
It was undoubtedly a big match, a great event and the best memory I have of a spat on the field. And I'm so glad it turned our way in the end. Or, I really would hate shooting my television, or myself for that matter.
Indian-Pakistan matches are epic events, especially in World Cups. They become something else entirely. Strange, but India has never lost to Pakistan in any World Cup match, ever! And we have one coming up soon: February 15.
The televisions will be hogging more electricity that entire industry put together in the subcontinent. So ending this with another advice to the ladies. If the Valentine's Day doesn't go great, you know what to do and how. Well, cheers to Indian team and may they retain the glory. Happy World Cup to all.
(Views expressed by the writer are personal. If you want to share your thoughts on the game, mail your write-ups to firstname.lastname@example.org)
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