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Am I a relationship maniac?

india Updated: Jun 24, 2006 11:06 IST

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Am I a relationship maniac?

1.
I am a 23-year-old man. The girl I loved is no more with me due to strong reasons. We devoted three years to each other and were absolutely loyal. Now after she has gone, I feel so lonely and look for care from opposite sex. Am I becoming a relationship maniac? I feel bad when I realize that I am looking for love and care apart from her, as I just could not think of anyone else when we were together. I think it's wrong to look for love again. I just hate to feel that I am in dire need of someone who will be only mine. Am I behaving abnormally? Please tell me what is wrong with me and how can I rid of it? I need your expert advice.

Confused

'My girl has lost all interest'

2.
I am 26-years-old going out with a 32-year-old girl. The problem is that she is still a virgin and is very shy about her body. She feels no urge to kiss or make love to me. Initially, we used to indulge sexually but some months down the line she has lost all desire. How do I handle this?

John

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Hubby's taken to alcohol, strip clubs

1.
I got married 7 years ago in India and have two kids. Ours was a love marriage. We have been living in the US from last 8 years. We have the Indian marriage certificate. It's been a a stormy marriage from day one. But I keep getting confused over the fact if divorce/separation is an option or not. Till now it was just arguments, and we would usually make up. We both dote on our kids. But now, my husband has taken to drinking, strip clubbing and staying out all night (has done the all-nighters 8-9 times in the last year, even after promising to me again and again that he won't do it)... This is all I know. If there is more (affair or one night stands or anything sexual), then I am not aware of it. I am slowly realizing that my husband is not going to make any changes in his life (even if he wants to, he can't seem to control it) and that in turn is suffocating me more and more in this marriage. It hurts my pride every time he does it and then claims that he loves me a lot. However, my main question is more legal. Can I seek a separation or a divorce here in the US? Or we will have to go back to India for it? Do we have to register our marriage here for a divorce? How will we decide on kids, money, property, child support, alimony, etc? We both have green cards and at the moment, I am not thinking of going back to India after separation...

Indecisive

Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
You can take divorce in the US as the law of the land where the couple is residing deals with matters of divorce. You should consult a lawyer to resolve issues regarding child custody, money, etc. and file a petition as suggested by the lawyer.

 

'Can't survive with boyfriend's family'

2.
I am working in Delhi and earning well but my boyfriend lives in Nepal and is from a very conservative family. Once our parents also met for our marriage but as they are Jains and we are Punjabis they don't want me to be in their family but in front of their son they act innocently. I feel I won't be able to survive in such a conservative family. He was earlier living here (Delhi)but they took him to Nepal after knowing about us. My boyfriend wants me to come with him in a conservative situation where I have to wear only saris with covered head. I won't be even allowed to work. I am in love with him for past seven years now. Sometimes, I feel I can live without him but sometimes I feel I can't. I am confused. Please help.

Nisha

Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
Marriages based on compromises like your giving up every thing dear to you or your boyfriend giving up his parents and his way of life are neither happy nor successful. There is no difficulty in deciding as your boyfriend in favour of his parents made the decision the day he left for Nepal. The difficulty is only in accepting the decision by you.

 

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