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Are you in a dating trap? Take tips...

Jeff Herring elaborates on three most common dating traps, the symptoms and solutions.

india Updated: Aug 07, 2006 13:52 IST

While dating sites like Fropper are gaining popularity with the Indian Single, much of that species still prefers real world dating adventure, and if you’re one of them, you’ll know real-life dating can be a tricky challenge.

Here are the three most common dating traps, the symptoms, and what to do instead.

The Fairy Tale Trap: We handle so many of our love relationships like they were the fairy tales we grew up on. We expect our perfect ideal partner to magically show up someday. The truth is, after the ‘newness’ of a relationship wears off, you still have to live with the other person. So many people get hurt this way.

Solution: Take responsibility for your choices and take an active role in finding a good match for yourself. Interview a lot of people for the position of your partner.

The Rescue Trap: Many singles believe if they can meet the right person, then all of their emotional, financial and other problems will be solved right away. That is way too much pressure to put on anyone and you’ve convinced yourself that you have no control over your own life.

Solution: Don’t look for a custom-tailored fit in an off-the-rack world. Second, resolve your emotional, financial and other problems before getting into a long-term relationship.

Date-To-Mate Trap: If you attempt dating with the goal of finding a long-term relationship or marriage, you’re trying to make something fit even when it doesn’t.

Solution: Know what your requirements are in a long-term relationship, and settle for nothing less. Taking this position scares a lot of singles because they believe it greatly reduces the number of available partners. While this is true, remember, it only takes one. Date numerous people without the pressure of dating-to-mate. This greatly increases your chances of finding ‘the one’.