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Ask the Expert: Feel shy

india Updated: Nov 08, 2006 14:58 IST

PTI
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Our expert, clinical psychologist Seema Sharma, answers your queries - from relationship problems to pressures in school and colleges, complexes that you might develop or battling peer pressure and the intense competition - reach out to our expert.

I am a very shy boy. How do I overcome my shyness? I recently joined an Intermediate swimming class for teenage boys. To my shock our coach was a female. I felt really embarrassed and shy to stand in front of her wearing only my swimming trunks. Other boys too had this problem, but they soon overcame it in 2 or 3 days.

But even after 2 weeks I am still feeling the same. Otherwise, she is a very good coach, better than the men coaches that I had trained under before. Not only that, she also understands us boys better and loves and cares for us, unlike the male coaches.

Her love has won other boys over and they are no longer uncomfortable with her. In fact she is now very popular with all boys. But I am still feeling embarrassed whenever she looks at me. I feel as if though a woman is seeing me only in my swim wear and this makes me uncomfortable. How can I overcome these feelings and see her as a coach rather than a woman. I want to continue training under her, as she is a very good coach. Please help me. 
 
Sex: Male

Some degree of shyness is natural as we grow. It denotes decency. What we need to understand is that it should not extend beyond normalcy so as to interfere with our welfare. You need to prioritize your focus.

For example if one has gone to visit a doctor for a problem and feels extremely shy about it and does not discuss the problem well, then chances of his recovery are dimmed. You can learn your swimming lessons well if only you focus on your improvement each session.

Otherwise also, being a man take up the challenge of fighting with your anxieties and unreasonable thoughts. Win over the situations and pave the way for your much balanced and reasonable future.

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