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Ban the S word

india Updated: Apr 19, 2009 21:39 IST

At last, someone’s had the sense to say loud and clear that sex education in schools is unethical, unhealthy and immoral. I’m sure you agree with this.

Oh absolutely. My question is why stop with schoolchildren? We should put an end to sex itself. After all, we are Indians and it would be in keeping with our glorious cultural heritage of abstinence.

Are you being sarky? I think it’s so much better to teach our young peole about our spiritual leaders, freedom fighters and national heroes. Too much is made of sexual awareness as a form of protection.

Yes, I strongly believe that chanting the names of spiritual leaders and national heroes at least ten times a day will do a great deal to curb a libidinous instinct. Can’t quite see Netaji stirring up the old hormones.

Besides, as our former sleuths and educationists say, all this sex talk may actually lead to sexual crimes.

We must follow the advice of George W. Bush who felt abstinence is the path to take. I say, the health minister must bring about legislation on the negative health effects of sex.

You may be on to something there. After all, licentiousness and promiscuity could lead to the disintegration of our family units. Yes, abstinence could be the answer.

We are past masters at abstinence, after all most of our people nobly abstain from food, education, healthcare and sanitation. So sex should not be such a problem.

We are fortunate that we don’t have to worry about things like HIV/Aids. Unlike the decadent West, we have natural protection in the form of our cultural purity.

Yes, we should now market this purity as the best protection against any sexual misadventure. Why, we could knock the major pharma companies out of business.

Do say: We’re going from bed to worse.

Don’t say: Let’s sleep over this for now.