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Bang for the buck

india Updated: Jun 19, 2012 01:20 IST
Al Qaeda

Many of us stuck in dull jobs long for a bit of excitement. We wonder, should we try for work which involves travel, luxury and maybe gourmet food? Now, we find that the ultimate in edgy jobs is available online if you have the heart for it. Al Qaeda has advertised online training for jihadis who are willing to target the US, France and Israel. We can quite see the ad - "Wanted, young people of robust health, robust hatred of the infidel and robust desire to enjoy the fruits of one's labour in the hereafter. Only the faithful need apply, a reference from a former jihadi via mail or séance is require".

It is likely that many of Osama's acolytes may sign up for this. After all, mooching around the caves and valleys of the Hindu Kush mountains can get on your nerves after a while. The assorted works of Osama bin Laden may be good for a read but could lull you into somnolence a second time. With al Qaeda's leader falling like ninepins, perhaps the jihadi training could come with a few add-ons. An exit clause for the jihadi bomber could be one. Changing his mind at the last moment, Ahmed could tell his handler Sayeed, "Here keep your vest and do be careful, it is timed to go off in 30 second." On the other hand, it could be, "How do I get this thing off before (kaboom)...?"

The lads up at al Qaeda are no fools, mind you. They know just how to appeal to the right sort of person. The ad talks about the need to go solo, the lone wolf as it were. So when the whole thing goes up in smoke, the credit need not be shared. The lone jihadi has it all, the glory, the virgins in heaven and milk and honey and wine and whatever else catches his fancy, maybe the latest iPad too. But then again, we think that our boring old jobs are not going to win us any seats near the almighty. But we may just learn to live with that.