Do you relate to the nostalgia when people discuss the relationship they used to share with their siblings? With time, the regular hair-pulling fights of childhood, arguments over things as petty as ‘my seat’, complaints to parents that he/she abused you by calling you a cat, a mouse or a dog eventually disappear for good, to mature into a formal bonding.
Before brothers and sisters can figure things out, the bonding between them skips a few moments and makes them drift apart into distant corners. HT City spoke with a few siblings and tried to find out what affects the relationship between the siblings, and does it happen for good or would they have wished it otherwise.
“Probably it’s the paucity of time that widens the distance between the siblings. I remember, though my brother and I have an age difference of nine years, we were best of friends. He was the first one whom I told about my boyfriend. But later when I shifted to Delhi to pursue my studies, that bonding somehow disappeared,” says Anandita Sharma, an advertising professional. “It’s a saying that distance make the heart go fonder, but sadly it wasn’t true for me,” adds Sharma.
Some may have reasons and situations to blame for the lost bonding between their siblings, others believe that there’s nothing that can hamper their bonding. “My sister and I are very close and when she got married last year I felt that our bonding will take a back seat considering the new role she had to play. But I was wrong and our bonding is still as strong as it was,” says Aarti Shah, 25.
Psychiatrist Sanjay Chugh says, “As kids, siblings spend greater time with each other, there is more opportunity for them to share their thoughts and feelings, fights and express their emotions as they live together and are readily accessible for each other in times of need. This equation changes as other demands of personal and professional life take over.”
The Other Side
Every relationship undergoes a change and matures, and it doesn’t mean that the love and that initial connection wither away believes Rahul Pant, an engineer. “If one doesn’t fight and argue over silly things as they used to when they were kids, then I think it's a good thing,” laughs Pant, adding, “I have a brother and now that both of us are married, we still share the same rapport as we used to. To let that bonding live, one should make a conscious effort not to let external factors affect your relationship.”
Dr Chugh concurs. “The emotional bond doesn’t fade away. It may only change its medium of manifestation. Siblings would still be there for each sother only their ways of showing care, love and concern may change,” he says.