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Cricket’s Big Moose

india Updated: Apr 06, 2010 22:43 IST

Hindustan Times
Highlight Story

Most of us have stopped watching serials and movies on the telly and have been following with voyeuristic fascination the Sania-Shoaib saga. It has all the ingredients of a B-grade potboiler complete with the wedding guest who’s shouted “Yeh shaadi nahi ho sakti!” The ebullient right-wing parties in the form of the Shiv Sena and BJP have jumped into the fray since this involves, horror of all horrors, a Pakistani national whom our darling girl should not marry. The women’s groups have implored Sania to spurn the ‘scoundrel’.

But all this misses one crucial point. We are not against anything, but as edit writers we have to perforce be against a low intelligence quotient. And on this score, Shoaib Malik falls so woefully short, it is scary. Long ago and far away, our lad starts a postal romance with a lass who sends him a fetching photograph. The lovelorn swain proposes matrimony, arrives in Hyderabad to see his lady love and, behold finds a comely lass whom he mistakes for the sister of the beauty. His would-be is out, he is told. Not one to be deterred, he goes home. But he visits again, and again and again… And each time, he meets the portly one whom he still thinks is the sister, his beloved being out on errands, even as far as Saudi Arabia.

Does our man think that this is the case of the lady vanishing? No, he goes home and signs a marriage document. The truth is revealed, the fat lady sings — ha, ha, fooled you, I am your beloved. Exit Shoaib, followed by court cases. Now we ask you, could he not have been the lead in Dumb and Dumber? So Sania, we understand your passion. But how will you live with cricket’s version of Big Moose for the rest of your life? Duh.