I'll be honest. I never really saw the first four Potter movies. To me - a bunch of kids with annoying accents trying to bring down an ugly mysterious monster had already been done in Mr. India, and the only magic I could do with my wand at 14 was create fluids that could make babies. But with Order of the Phoenix you made me realise the true effects of Wingardium Leviosa - and my world was never the same again.
As an average looking Indian boy, the fact that you would fall for Ron Weasley (or as we say in Indian multiplexes - abbe yeh g****u kaun hai?) gave me hope that I too, had a chance. That you continued to study - that too in an Ivy League institution like a good desi girl made me happy that if we ever happened my parents would have no trouble approving despite our cultural difference. And that you listed your interests as singing, dancing and field hockey confirmed my beliefs that you are meant to be with an Indian and that Indian would be me! Everytime I missed you I'd listen to Chura Ke Dil Mera, Goriya Chali and hoped you'd be listening too...
Years on, I finally found you on Twitter fuelled by Shah Rukh Khan's belief that "Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaaho to puri kayanat usey tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai". But you never responded, instead choosing to only promote Burberry. Fine, I can understand you're busy…but did you really have to mock my love like that by kissing Weasley in the final movie? Did I mean nothing? Were all those wallpapers I downloaded despite a 128kbps connection worth nothing?
If you'd only responded once, I wouldn't be such a broken man trying to make sense of the world watching Twilight. Eagerly awaiting your next movie with hopefully more cleavage,
Gursimran Khamba is a pissed off writer, stand up comic, podcaster, social media junkie and lover of all fried foods. Except bananas. Follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/#!/gkhamba
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