Last year around this time, there was only one thing on my mind — how to be able to chug lots of beer as fast as I could, and not throw up on fellow drinkers. This was at the only Olympics I’ll ever participate in. I was part of a five-member team at the Beer Olympics at a micro-brewery called Doolally or The 1st Brewhouse in Pune.
That one day went down in history for us. Probably because we’re missing the second edition of the tournament that takes place this Sunday. As veterans in the game, I think it’s time to give others a chance. No, actually. But our team, The De Jaan Daaruwalas (it wasn’t my idea) did pretty well.
We made it to the finals in the three-legged race, in which you chug a glass before you can start running from one end, to the other, where another glass is waiting for you. In a game like this, having two left feet is a clear advantage. And we had that covered. At the end, having consumed about eight to 10 litres of freshly brewed wheat beer, none of us were sick, nauseous or throwing up.
We were just very happy. Amateur beer experts with bellies that proved their experience were doing the rounds, giving tips to struggling teams on how to chug faster, get drunk slower and basically, win. Drinking beer is part of every summer. There are even some events being held in the city for beer lovers (Taj Lands End has about 20 beers from 20 countries on offer).
So as a true beer sportsperson, I’m sharing what I learnt and what I unlearnt just to add to your beery good experiences.
* To chug fast, squeeze the plastic glass from the sides to create a funnel-like flow while drinking. Three big gulps should do it for a big glass.
* Bend your knees and hold your beer arm at a 90-degree angle from your body to gulp smoother and not choke. Use this one at your own discretion, it looks funny.
* Bang your glass on the table before you sip. Your drink fizzes up as it apparently releases carbon dioxide.
* Have a litre of water for every litre of beer. You’ll be running to pee like a machine, but it does save you from dehydration. That’s another thing: when it comes, let it go.
* Stuff yourself with potato salad half an hour before you start drinking. I understand carbohydrates help in the process, but over-eating and drinking also can result in lots and lots of vomit.
* Beer drinking may be associated with summery afternoons. But don’t keep your beers in the sun; it starts to stink.
(P.S. You know how some pints in pubs just smell terrible at the mouth. Yeah well… those bottles got baked, that’s why!)
Enjoy your beer... lots and lots of it.