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Do keep us posted

The Will-Kate wedding, like other royal affairs, does not excite us. Unless we are invited, of course.

india Updated: Apr 27, 2011 21:09 IST

The wait is almost over for Kate and her mate but it is all getting too much for us. Bereft of any real colour about the royal family, we have been hard put to write on them for years. The Queen herself does not inspire too many editorial potshots and neither are readers too breathless about her walkabouts with a posse of corgis. Of course, the Duke of Windsor’s racial gaffes gave us an occasion to vent our spleen in a sad empire strikes back sort of way.

Prince Charles gave us some moments of joy by marrying the incandescently beautiful Diana. But soon, she seemed to prefer hitting the high spots with Hollywood hicks, leathery designers, poofter singers and huckster playboys. Not what we would term a touch of class. But the poor thing’s passing in a Paris tunnel revived interest in her with the faithful running around the streets wondering whether a la Eva Peron we would ever have anyone like her. Poor horsy Camilla Parker Bowles came along and battlelines were drawn in direct proportion to the lines on her none too fetching visage. The marriage of the shrub-embracing Charles and Camilla did not even have us breaking out the tea, let alone the champagne. The only other royal who has potential to set the tabloids on fire is hellraiser Harry with his bottles and blondes appeal. But dear old Will with the receding hairline and colourless Catherine are not likely to give us much fodder in the following years, even if they pull off a right royal wedding.

We have just seen them so often, read everything about the ‘middle class’ Middletons, the wisteria-like ambitions of Katie and her sister and her parents who have made good selling party props. So, it is clear that we will have to find newer victims to write about, maybe the wannabes who may never enter the portals of Buckingham palace but whose vulgarity and wealth could make them the nouveau royalty. But we may have felt differently about Will and Kate if that embossed invitation to the wedding had come our way. There is still one more day…