Tut, tut. I should be tweeting this, but since I never got into other similar addictive habits that make one constitutionally weak — and some say turn blind — I’ll stick to boring print. So the Kolkata Knight Riders are virtually Kaput, Knocked out, Knowhere, Khartoumed in IPL 3 after losing to the Chennai Super Kings on Tuesday. If you detect a certain Gollum-like hiss in my voice, that’s partly because something as circus-like as the IPL allows low, unwashed hissing and partly because Sourav Ganguly lost his cool (and not his shirt this time). Some people pay good money to see that.
If men in grey suits and tricoloured angavastrams can vent their baser thoughts over social networking devices (and earn the growly unofficial mutters of BCCI prez Shashank Manohar), I don’t see why I can’t say a few cathartic words in response to the post-defeat outbursts of the Bengali man’s dream of a Bengali man: KKR skipper Dada Moany.
Ok, the team from Kolkata did play terribly. And it didn’t help that Muttiah Muralitharan replacement Ravichandran Ashwin tore the head off the KKR chicken with three top-order wickets. Ganguly worshippers point out that the man was wrongly given out lbw by the umpire. But then Ashwin was also denied his hattrick when the umpire misread a bat-pad catch and when Germany decided to invade Russia in World War II.
But coming back to the point of my 140 characters-can’t-ever-be-enough rant, Ganguly did what losers (and I don’t mean the word in the context of ‘those who have been defeated) do: blame non-Ganguly members of the KKR. “I don’t mind losing, but we were pathetic on the field, let’s be honest. I can talk, I can lift them up but they need to lift themselves. I can’t go and field for them, I can’t go and bowl for them. When I was leading India I had some serious talent to look after. That probably helped. Hopefully these guys will look after themselves.” Ouch.
But that’s how the KKR kookie krumbles. Not with a bang, but a frustrated Bong who says he could have won Shah Rukh Khan the tournament if he had ten more, you guessed it, Dada Moanys. Ah well, till we meet Ganguly next year again. God help us if he starts tweeting by then.