Fat cop, bad cop

The Delhi Police intends to be a lean and mean fighting machine. Well, it’s being blown out of proportion really.

The Delhi Police should change its motto from ‘With you, For you, Always’, to ‘Better Late than Never’. The reason for this suggestion, however, is not because our portly men in khaki are usually the last to arrive at a crime scene but because they have a knack of waking up only when they reach a dead end. To cut a long story short, the Delhi Police has decided to weed out fat, potbellied and lethargic policemen from its traffic units and replace them with fit (and handsome, we hope) policemen.

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While being fit is probably one of the main criteria for being a part of a force, we wonder why it took so long for the powers that be to crack the whip. Next week, Delhi Police will hold fitness tests to figure out who stays on the road and who goes back to the barracks to shape up. All the 4,305 traffic constables will have to take the test. A senior policeman said that they want the unit to be “full of smart and honest men.” We wish the same, but disagree wholeheartedly with the direct link that is drawn between being portly and dishonest. Show us one portly and dishonest policeman, we will show you 10 others who are reed thin and yet rolling in cash.

Along with the usual physical tests that the men will undergo, there should be some other unconventional (simulation) tests to equip them with modern policing: for example, how to keep their temper under control in event of road rage, how to get out of ‘I know-your boss’ challenges thrown at them by the supra VIPs of the Capital city; how not to saunter in with their lathis and whistles much after a peak-hour traffic gridlock is threatening to lead to near riots — and the toughest of all, to put it down politely, how to stay away from people who become instant ATMs when hauled up for traffic violations (real or imagined). So give us those generously proportioned policemen any day, we will manage but the greedy ones are what we detest.