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Flashing on the offside

india Updated: Oct 11, 2008 00:57 IST
Kshitij Prabhat Bal
Kshitij Prabhat Bal
Hindustan Times
Highlight Story

With his retirement due after the Australia test series, there seems to be a lot on Dada’s mind this festival season. Entries from Dada’s troubled and tumultous week:

October 3, Friday: Today I wrote a letter to Ratanji. He really should stay in Bengal. Maybe he could give me a job after my contract gets over. Oh, and I got out to a short pitched delivery.

October 4, Saturday: Again those short pitched deliveries. I’ve been playing these deliveries all night — and Dona’s not too happy about the broken glass in the sitting room and my torn shirt on the sofa. Can’t even celebrate a six anymore!

October 5, Sunday: I just can’t sleep anymore. Even my golden Knightrider bat and ball have given up on me. And Ratanji has left for Gujarat. Now I won’t be able to get a job in that Nano ad. Oh! it all looks so grim.

October 6, Monday: Today I was voted Bengali No.1 by a TV channel poll. But that doesn’t stop these short pitched deliveries. We lost to the Kiwis but I spoke to Shah Rukh again — and he says I shall score a century.

October 7, Tuesday: I’m just sick of these short pitched deliveries and all this talk of the ‘Fab Four’. Who are these four? No one seems to be talking about me. And no one wants me on Ek Khiladi Ek Hasina. This is so humiliating. I quit and I will change my hairstyle. Shah Rukh’s still telling me not to worry — but I don’t think I can go to the puja with him. Some one wants to kidnap my daughter... hmmm... must be that crook Chappell. or one of those new hair dudes.

October 8, Wednesday: YES! YES! Finally everybody’s saying good things about me. Only can’t really practise in Bangalore. They seem to have some rule against indoor sports.

October 9, Thursday: Today this Aussie bloke made a century. He plays with me and Shah Rukh on the weekends and told me that the trick is to practise in the living room only in the afternoon — never at night. Now I can finally sleep in peace.