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Flirting with bro, sex with hubby!

We have had a horrible sex life. But a month ago, I was hanging out with his brother and now have the hots for him. This has made me have sex with my hubby 3-4 times a week. Is it wrong?

india Updated: Jul 24, 2006 19:42 IST


Flirting with bro, sex with hubby!

I can't be alone in the department of thinking about other guys. To make a long story short, my husband and I have had a horrible sex life. I don't know what happened. We went from having sex on a regular basis to having sex barely 4-5 times in a year. Yes, I said YEAR. Well, about a month ago, I was hanging out with his brother and I mentioned that I don't wear bathing suits because I'm not comfortable with the way I look. He told me that I used to wear bathing suits and he was able to tell me that he remembered me wearing a bathing suit 10 years ago. He was even able to tell me the color and everything. He also compliments me a lot and tells me that I have nice curves, etc. and I should be proud of my body. So, here's the problem. Now, I have major hots for his brother! And this has made me have sex with my husband 3-4 times a week and sometimes even more. Is it horrible of me to get turned on by his brother and then sleep with my husband? I'm not cheating. Lord knows I've thought about it. Am I horrible or is it OK as long as my husband is getting the benefit of the flirting? Please guide me.


'My marriage is a business profit'

I have been married for six months. My in-laws organized the wedding in India since I live with my parents in the US. When the time came for my parents to pay them for the wedding venue and the catering, they charged my parents twice the original amount. My parents blindly trusted my in-laws and gave them whatever amount they asked for. But my in-laws took advantage of our trust. They did not even buy bridal outfits for me that I was supposed to get from them in my marriage. When I confronted my husband about his family's greedy actions, he and his parents blamed my family for everything. He called me selfish and greedy. I used to respect him and his family like my own. But, now I have lost trust in my husband because he lies to defend his family. I'm very sad that his family turned my marriage into a business profit. I feel so unlucky to have been married into a greedy, cheap family. My husband is still in India waiting for his US spouse visa to be issued. I'm not sure that I trust him enough to sponsor him to the US because after what his family did with us, I'm afraid he can do that with me when he comes here. I feel his family just used me as a step stone to come to the US. Please help me out.


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'I hit myself coz of lover'

I have a serious problem. I hurt myself a lot when I get slightly angry or I feel hurt and unwanted. I am in love with my boyfriend but he hardly looks at me although he buys me gifts and says he loves me. I do all the household chores after returning from work and I feel bad when my boyfriend does not care and watches TV all the time. I can't talk to him except in bed because at other times the TV is on and loud. I do not mind the work but the lack of any concern from him hurts me. I feel disappointed and then I hit myself in the chest constantly until its blue. My boyfriend feels very bad about this and says he wants to understand why I torture myself so much. I explain what I felt at the time I was hitting myself but the result does not change anything. I seem to think that he does not have interest in me and I feel insecure and hurt him by not showing any trust. My boyfriend has refused to marry me for family reasons. I do not want to hurt my folk's every time so I have not told them everything. My boyfriend says he is with me even if his parents are not with him but he is not ready to commit the same to my parents so I keep my parents on hold as always and I am 29 already. This is the 5th time my marriage has broken in the past five years. I feel like dying thinking of all this but then I worry about how my mother will bear the loss of my death and try to survive. Career-wise I am a confident and successful professional and I live a comfortable life. Please advise me.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
How come an educated independent girl got herself into such an unsatisfactory relationship? It is understandable to get such a baggage as one never knows what one is bargaining for but it is not OK to live with it. You are wasting yourself for nothing. Your mother's concern should be your happiness and not your marriage to a, b, or z. From the description of your boyfriend (as provided by you) he seems to be having a severe and irreversible form of personality disorder. He is never going to change and his parents are most satisfied with his living arrangement as it suits their son the most. Who would not want an unpaid servant for life? You should distance yourself from this guy as soon as possible and have a good life all by yourself.


Bust size is peanuts

My bust size is average but it is very loose and they look very bad and if I use tight brassier, I get rashes on my skin. My daily diet is two cups of tea, one bowl of any green vegetable, a bowl of dal, three chapatis and one apple. I also take some junk food whenever I feel hungry during my office hours. Please tell me some way to get my breasts in right shape and how to make it firm? Please guide me.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
For firming up the loose breasts there is nothing better than exercise. As such there are no pills or medicines to accomplish this purpose. The hormone pills do not tone up the breasts. However plastic surgeons do help provided you have a pocket full of money to spend.