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For bitter or worse

What’s the best way to fight depleting resources? Stay with your pesky partner, come what may.

india Updated: Feb 25, 2009 21:35 IST

Wedding vows of the future may take on a new ring, a green one. According to an Australian senator Steve Fielding, what climate change has put together, let no man, or for that matter, woman, put asunder. He feels that couples who separate use up more rooms, more electricity and more water. Indeed. So, you may just have to put up with that nagging spouse till death, or the ozone hole, whichever comes first, do you apart. Now some would say this is taking things a little to far. Already, we are tormented by a green onslaught in the form of being told to curtail our baths, reduce flushing in toilets, share cars with that appalling neighbour, refrain from washing sheets and towels often, eschew deodorants and stumble about in the dark to save power. But to say that you cannot trade in an old model of spouse for something a little more to your taste may be a little hard to swallow.

Why not acquire several spouses at one go? Then you could save on several things like linen, crockery and, ahem, more obvious items of furniture, while indulging in a bit of variety. After all, the spouse-sharing scheme was mooted in the Mahabharata. Or better still, don’t get married at all and do your bit to prevent global warming.

This could also lead to some enterprising soul starting a rent-a-spouse scheme, where like recyclable bottles, you could deposit the partner back to the agency, when you feel the imminent threat of the Arctic glacier creeping down a few extra inches. Now don’t tell us we haven’t given you enough options to make a green break with the past.