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Hits and missiles

Why on earth are you dismantling that nice, sleek missile?

india Updated: Sep 02, 2009 23:12 IST

[Somewhere in the vicinity of Rawalpindi]

Why on earth are you dismantling that nice, sleek missile?

I’m not dismantling it, silly! I’m altering it and turning it into a boat.

Er, why is that?

Well, these American anti-ship Harpoon missiles look like American anti-ship Harpoon missiles. So if I turn all these babies into rubber dinghies, no one will be able to trace them back to America.

But, um, everyone will still be able to trace them back to Pakistan, right?

Haan ji, but that toh is not a problem. All that I know is that Washington doesn’t want its signature, however indirect it may be, on any attack launched by Pakistan against its neighbouring country.

That means India, right?

Hmm. Not necessarily. It could be Afghanistan, Iran or China, you know.

But we don’t share any sea front with any of these countries. What will deadly dinghies do anywhere else but in India?

You always miss the wood for the shrapnel!

Hang on. I heard the Americans are coming to inspect whether the Harpoons that they gave us are being tampered with.

Oh, don’t worry. Can’t you see that man working there?

Isn’t that A.Q. Khan, the father of the Pakistani nuclear programme, who got busted for proliferation?

That’s right. As you can see he’s a VVIP again.

Why, because he knows too much about Pakistan’s nuclear proliferation record?

No. Because he’s the only one who can convert all those rubber dinghies into Harpoon missiles so that the Americans are fooled.

Do say: Is it a Harpoon? Is it an Innuit? No, it’s great whale Moby Dick!

Don’t say: But tell me, did Pokhran II really work?