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How to fake being a beer connoisseur

india Updated: Aug 03, 2012 15:18 IST
Hindustan Times

Last year, my friends and I unintentionally ended up celebrating International Beer Day, which, I recently learnt, was only founded in 2007 by a bunch of beer-loving American boys. In which case, it’s not too late to come up with an international desi daaru or lassi day.

The rules about what needs to be done on this day are simple and few in number — have a good time, befriend that nice bar owner/bartender who’s been serving you for months and last of all, acknowledge that there are other beers in the world, no matter how unaffordable they are.

So this Sunday, instead of ordering your regular brand of beer, take a chance with that shady bottle of Khajuraho or Godfather Strong.

If that sight doesn’t get people talking to you, then impress them with some random trivia on beer that’s best told five bottles down:

* The word, hops, does a lot more than just sound grammatically incorrect. You know that citrusy taste beer leaves you with before it throws up a burp? Yes, well, hops it is.

* Walk up to the person stuffing a lemon wedge down their bottle of beer and, poker-faced, inform them of hops’ scientific name — Humulus lupulus. Then explain to them that it is the Humulus lupulus that makes the beer skunky, another word for stinky.

* Raise your glass to cheer and then smash it into the other person’s in all honesty. Back during more hostile times when poisoning someone’s drink was commonplace, cheering was meant to spill some amount of a person’s beer into the fellow drinker’s glass and vice versa to show it wasn’t poisoned.

* Next time someone judges you for drinking ‘young and immature’ beer instead of sophisticated whisky, inform them that all you are doing is following a tradition that has lasted for some 7,000 years. Beery well then, hops along.