'I don't love my husband'
1. I have been married for about 4 years now and have a 3-year-old daughter. I never had an orgasm with my husband, but I didn't really care about this until I gave birth to my daughter. I have started rejecting him and do not want him anymore. I cannot even kiss him any longer. It seems that my sexual desires have increased more than ever before. I fantasize about a guy at workplace who is married too. And I think he also is attracted to me. We have had lunch together a couple of times and I just cannot get him out of my head. I don't want to hurt my husband because I know that he truly loves me. I wish I can force myself to love him and just be happy, but I can't because I don't feel for him anymore. I'm desperate to have sex with this guy, but I don't want to hurt my husband. Please help.
2. I have a friend whom I met two months ago. He is a nice guy and I have started developing feelings for him. Although I wouldn't have felt this way if my boyfriend hadn't cheated on me with his child's mother and tried to make things work between us. My friend already has a girlfriend. But we are emotionally connected to each other and want to be together. Please suggest.
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Discovered love outside marriage!
1. I am a 33-year-old married woman. Recently I met a very sensitive and sensible IPS Officer of 33, who is also married and has a kid. We met at a common friend's place for an hour and now he has gone to another city. Ever since then (from last 3 months) we've been communicating with each other over phone or through SMSs. He confessed that he fell for me at the very first meeting. Gradually, I also fell in love with him. Our relationship is a very painful one as we are aware of our commitments towards our families. We don't even know when we'll meet next. Do you think I should stop this merry-go-round here itself because it is driving me crazy as mentally we are never away from each other and all this is affecting so many other things. I need help.
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: Conventional wisdom suggests that reason should prevail over the matters of heart. But heart recognizes neither convention nor wisdom. Moreover it is not easy to be conventional in the ultramodern world, where principle is confused with orthodoxy. I personally am of the opinion that even in the present era of modernity only smart and intelligent persons have the guts to travel the least treaded path.
'Should I do what my guy says?'
2. I am studying in the 12th grade. I have been friends with a boy for around three months now. Few weeks after our first meeting we got physical. A week ago, he called me over to his house and after reaching there I found that we both were alone! It did not bother me, as he is a nice guy. We played some computer games in his bedroom and then watched TV. Playfully he kissed me on my cheek and I did the same. I got carried away and we ended up making love. I felt depressed thereafter but his assurance that it is culmination of our love made me feel a little better. Now, he is forcing me to submit to his wishes whenever he wants. I feel trapped and don't know what to do. I am very scared of my parents. What is the way out? Please advise.
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: Whenever challenged with a statement like 'tell us what you want to say' I just become speechless, as I am sure to lose. I know whatever I say is not going to be acceptable and it would not change your lifestyle in any way. Still I will make a comment or two. Anybody who is afraid of the parent's opinion should ask for their permission for premarital sex during teen years and should have information about contraceptives and sexually transmitted diseases.